


Mine

by anonymous_mystery95



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Soulmate AU, Werewolf AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-14 16:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8020540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_mystery95/pseuds/anonymous_mystery95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she stumbles across him accidentally, the fate she had been running from thrusting him into her life.</p><p>her mate. her barry.</p><p>falling in love with him was a different journey entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. part i

The concept of mates in the lycan community was one that aroused mixed feelings. The older generations looked upon it with indifference- it was the life they had been taught to accept, to never question. The young ones had looked upon it with hope, their naivety leaving the ideal untainted, the concept of finding the one who was chosen by the moon to be with you so pure and desirable. And then there was Caitlin Snow.

Caitlin had seen what losing a mate could do to another wolf, the soul crippling pain that would overcome them the moment their souls broke, the agony that shook their body as the bond between the two was ripped apart. And the aftermath was just as destructive; the other a shell of who they once were, the essence of their soul pulled from them, an emptiness left in its place.

But worse than that she had witnessed rejections, both before and after the bonding process had occurred, had seen the toll it took on the outcast wolf, the slow decay of their mind and soul as their mate lived without them. Neither of the pair lived a life worth having, both dying alone while surrounded by loved ones, their last cry a name on their lips that they had never spoken to

Caitlin had seen what mates do to her kind.

And she shudders to think about what would happen if she was ever inflicted with such a curse.

* * *

The full moon was coming. It was so close.

There was a change occurring, she could feel it settling in her bones, could smell it in the air, and she wasn't sure if she liked its feel, its scent.

Wells, her alpha, could sense her disturbed state, but her words of warning fell on deaf ears. He dismisses her concerns, telling her to try and distract herself by working harder. She tries. She fails. She is like a caged animal, her work in treating her pack mates not enough to take the energy off, not enough to distract her from her insanity settling in.

Cisco had been awfully quiet through the time, a distant look in his eyes, gaze sometimes sorrowful whenever he was staring at her without him realising she knew.

She corners him after a few days, the flash of yellow in her eyes enough to have him caving.

"Ronnie" he whispers after a while, unable to look her in the face. "Ronnie left with Stein a year ago."

* * *

(She had forgotten, she realises, her body tensing in surprise and not hurt.

He was her ex-fiance- they had been in love, desperately and wholly, both sure they wouldn't never find their mate, never love their mate like they do each other. And in Ronnie's case it was true - he didn't love Stein like that, he could barely tolerate the man on his best days. It was a rare bond, almost unheard of - but Wells had records; they were _paternum nexum_ , a familial soulmate chosen to help guide him throughout his life. They had gone to a lycanthropic expert, determined to understand their bond and how it was formed through a mere handshake. There were answers that they needed, documentation for the next pair that may come along after a millenia, understanding for two people who knew a lot and yet nothing at all.

What they did know was that they could still love and passionately so, as Stein and his wife displayed, but the mark would never be borne on the other, the only sign of their devotion the rings on their finger, the love in their heart.

She promised to never leave him, to choose him over all else.

But he left her. Left _them_.)

* * *

She backs away from Cisco, stumbling as she does so.

And she runs.

Every day she just _runs_.

* * *

She is running through the forest, the energy in her veins not ebbing with exhaustion, a restlessness chilling her bones. She knows she is a mess, her snowy white fur dirtied with mud and leaves. But something is calling her closer, seeking her out, promising calm and answers and everything she sought.

And she follows its voice.

Caitlin slows down when she reaches the borders of her pack's territory, something thrumming inside her, a breathlessness that could never be attributed to the run overtaking her. It was so close, so very tantalisingly close.

Gosh, she could feel her heart pounding at the very thought of it.

It is then that she sees him in the centre of the clearing, a beautiful black wolf with a bolt of white lightning against his side basking in the light of the full moon. He is curled into himself, she notes with some curiosity, so vulnerable and alone. So strong.

 _Alpha_ , her wolf supplies, whining to be nearer. _He is alpha_.

Caitlin can feel her wolf fighting to rise to the surface to go out there and disturb him from his slumber, and it took all her strength to restrain the animal. In wolf form her will was weaker, primal instincts overtaking logic. But she manages to resist the urge. She knows it would be a terrible idea, knows that it could end up with her dead.

But then he awakes, jumping on all fours, snout up sniffing the air, his tail erect.

Her lungs stop breathing at the sight of it; she is hidden in the foliage, there is no way he could see her, but when he turns his head in her direction she feels as though he is looking directly into her soul. She knows he can in all likelihood smell her, can smell another wolf, a hidden enemy, knows that he is feeling defensive and vulnerable. And that he would most probably attack her if he was given the opportunity.

He takes a hesitant step in her direction, his head cocked to the side.

And so she runs.

Caitlin curses that decision the moment she decides to move, her wolf agitated by the decision, the other wolf- the one chasing her- was breathing down her neck, so very quickly catching up to her. She runs and runs, her in depth knowledge of her surroundings wasted as she can't go far enough ahead to implement them. He nips at her tail and her heels, a soft whine leaving her enough to almost have him stumbling, something clearly taking him by surprise. But then he chases her all the more harder, easily making up whatever ground he had lost, almost level with her now. He barks at her and she can feel the power of it reverberate through her. It takes her by surprise.

She trips.

He towers over her, and she shuffles onto her back, wanting the last thing to see before she dies to be the face of the wolf that kills her.

She bares the side of her neck to him, a sign of submission she hates displaying, a necessary evil in her situation. Her eyes close against her will, her mind unsure whether he would rip out her throat with his teeth or grant her her life. She knows it should be the latter or a war would be declared between packs- he was trespassing on their territory and if he were to attack a prominent member of the pack blood would need to be shed. The rules that bound the lycan community would demand it.

But he does none of those things, his nose nuzzling the side of her neck, tongue licking her, body rubbing closer. She doesn't move as he continues, the other wolf only pulling away to push his nose against hers, tongue licking her face as he stares with bright emerald eyes, an intensity she doesn't understand, doesn't want to.

It's then that she notices her wolf is calm, is content, panting happily at the other wolf leaning over her.

 _Mate,_  she realises, horror dawning on her as the truth of the situation hits her, her wolf satisfied. _My mate. Mine._

* * *

He jumps off of her soon enough, tail wagging happily, body darting around.

 _He wants to pla_ y, she notices, the wolfish grin on his face, tongue hanging out as he pants, waiting for her to come over. _He's recognised me_.

She scurries to her feet, contemplating running away before immediately striking the idea down. No, she wouldn't make it very far, and she couldn't do that to him, a hopefulness on his face so sweet she couldn't bring herself to be the reason it was removed.

They jump around for a bit, the weight that had been hanging on her shoulders removed. She feels free with him here, playing like they were pups, the stress of the world, the reality of the situation fading away in that small moment. She nips at his heels, barking happily at his surprised reaction. She taunts him and he responds in kind.

He pins her again, leaning down and placing his teeth on the side of her neck. She shudders at the feeling of his teeth pressing against where his mark would soon be, arousal washing over her at his light touch. It was a sign of trust that defied all understanding and yet was so quintessential to mates: to put such trust in them, to put their very lives in the hands of the other. It was such a vulnerable position and for others a bite there would almost certainly lead to death, but mates - a bite would never be hard enough to kill, all it ever could do was arouse. And it does. A noise leaves her without permission, but he was so warm on top of her and so powerful and she feels her wolf excited at the prospects. And maybe she is attributing too much of her feelings to her inner wolf, maybe not. All she knows with certainty is that she was heating up, burning. And his proximity wasn't helping her in the slightest.

He growls as he hears her whimper, and she's sure that if he tried to mate with her then and there she would not put a word of protest.

He almost does.

But another wolf stumbles onto the scene - a scene where she had another wolf's teeth around her neck.

And her world changes once more.

* * *

This wolf is pure white, a black bolt stretching across his body.

The reverse of her new mate.

He was also her alpha.

She watches as Wells pauses, his eyes darting between the pair of them. With her on her back and a strange alpha over her.

He could see danger and he was ready to protect his pack, and her, especially her.

Her mate senses the newcomer, his head turned to see the larger alpha wolf bristling at the sight before him, ready to attack him, and the potential threat each alpha saw in the other is enough to raise the aggression.

Her mate jumps off and in front of her, guarding her from the new wolf. From Wells. They both are growling at each other, the trunk of their bodies now low to the floor, both ready to launch themselves at the other when the occasion arises. She whines from the back of her throat, the hackles raising on both alpha's at the sound of it.

She knows this is dangerous, that this new wolf had trespassed on her alpha's territory, that he was alone and without a pack.

He likely wouldn't see daybreak if Wells had his way.

And there was a twisting feeling inside her at the thought of it, her wolf fighting against her human side, desperate to be beside him, to protect him from whatever future Wells had in store.

She can feel Wells creeping into the edge of her consciousness, tugging at the connection he had with her. Eyes screwed shut she sends a message, praying he would understand. _Please don't kill. Please_.

He knows how she hates the killings of rogues and other wandering wolves, knows that she would be devastated if this wolf would suffer the same fate. He barks at her, sharp and loud. And she knows what he is telling her.

 _Talk to him. Please. Don't kill_.

He barks his order at her again, eyes flashing yellow. And she couldn't refuse. Not when he does that.

She casts one last glance at her mate, still fiercely protecting her from the perceived threat, his body radiating an aura of strength and loyalty and she finds herself becoming more and more inclined to stay.

Caitlin shakes it off - she had been in her wolf form for too long. And she couldn't defy her alpha.

* * *

There is a shift in the atmosphere.

Her mate turns around.

She is gone.

* * *

"You," she knows he had been approaching, her body like a coiled spring, her senses on alert as the scent from the evening two nights ago had crossed her path again.

Caitlin had been lurking around the edge of camp, willing to storm the iciness of her alpha to know if he had survived. She had almost collapsed in relief when Wells had told her that the other alpha was still alive, that he had gone back to a hotel for the night unharmed. But she also knew of his intention to return, the necessity of an urgent meeting with Wells the reason she had stumbled across him, the reason why he hadn't given any warning.

But now he was here, pinpricks of awareness rolling down her spine as he nears.

"You run away from me? Your alpha?" He was brimming with rage and hurt and she doesn't need to turn around to know he is rigid with tension.

She turns around at his words, a rebuke on her tongue.

It dies as she sees him-

\- he is just as beautiful in human form.

"You're not my alpha." It slips out before she could stop it, betrayal shining in his eyes as the words hit him like a strike to his face.

"I'm your _mate._ " Her head jerks at the sound of their relationship uttered aloud. And he bristles at the reaction. "You can't fight it, it's in our blood, in our soul. You're mine. I'm yours."

He stalks toward her, and she is rooted in her spot, unable to move, not when he is so close that each inhale had her chest pressing against his own.

"M- my mate?" she sputters, "you don't even know my name!"

"Caitlin." It rolls off his tongue effortlessly, and her mind stops as she hears her name. "Twenty four. A PhD in Biomedical Engineering, also a doctor for those of a lycanthropic nature."

She is left speechless as he recites all those facts about her, a warmth curling inside her at the thought of him researching her, of the time and effort he spent trying to find out who she really was - for wanting to know more about her than just her status as his mate.

"I don't know yours." Her voice is weak but she can't inject any strength into it, not when he was looking at her as though she had hung the moon in the sky, the intensity of his gaze the reason goosebumps were erupting across her arms.

"Barry, twenty five, alpha in training in the Central Pack." She watches him unblinking, soaking in whatever he was giving her. He opens his mouth to continue, but nothing comes out. Caitlin tilts her head to the side, gaze piercing as she tries to see what had got him to stop talking. There is a storm of emotions swirling in his eyes and she is barely given enough time to see them, cannot dream of deciphering them before he hides them away. "I love candlelit dinners and romantic walks on the beach." He throws her a crooked grin and she wants to be angry, furious even, but she can't.

She sighs, annoyed he wasn't taking it seriously - that he wants them to be close and yet refuses to share anything with him. She turns to go but his arms find her waistline, holding her against his chest. She considers tearing herself away, locking herself in her laboratory until he returns to his own pack, but he leans forward, hot breath against the slope of her neck, nuzzling her slightly, his whispers low and deep, a heat flaring inside at the sound. "I'm Barry and I'm your mate Caitlin, I'm yours and you're mine and that's all that matters."

She fights his hold, cursing her body's natural inclinations. He tightens as she struggles, her efforts futile. She was a beta and he was a natural alpha, already transitioning into taking his proper role. There was no physical contest. So she relaxes, his grasp on her loosening as she does so. She turns in his hold, her mind refusing to forget that he was still holding her waist. He growls as he meets her eyes, the iciness of her stare putting him on edge.

"Why are you fighting it?" he questions, leaning forward, nose skimming the length of her jaw as he inhales sharply. She stiffens as he does so. "I can smell your feelings on you." Still she remains silent, her hard glare frustrating him. "Talk to me Caitlin."

"I don't think there is anything left to say," she snips, her mouth pursed as she challenges him to add. He winces, already unsure how this will unfold.

"Caitlin," he starts, taking her hands into his, rubbing circles against its back. "I swear that I'll try, we will make this work." He thinks she is softening, her shoulders dropping, the tension seeping out slightly, and so he pushes forward. "And when I leave tomorrow, I want you to come with me."

"No." It is torn from her throat, a cry she couldn't hope to suppress, the fear that had haunted her now alive and striking with ferocity. She lets go of his hands to cover her mouth, a horrified look on her face as she shakes her head slowly. "Please no," and she curses the tears welling up in her eyes at the thought of it, the image of his anger flaring the last thing she saw before the world became blurry.

She stumbles backwards as he reaches forward, unsure of where she wanted to go, only knowing that it had to be away from him, that she couldn't let him touch her, couldn't let his scent affect her.

"Why?" he demands unkindly, hurt by such a firm denial.

"They're my family," her voice cracks, "I need them."

"And you have me now," there is a streak of possessiveness Barry couldn't stem, the thought of anyone meaning as much to her as he should resulting in the growl erupting from his throat.

"I can't leave them like this- Cisco and Wells, Ronnie -" and he hears the fondness in her tone, a familial one for the first names, a more amorous one in the second. And his wolf hates it.

He doesn't realise he had moved until he felt her stiffen against his body, every curve pressed against his body. But her face still leans into his touch as he wipes away the tears falling from his eyes.

"You'll have me now, and my pack will love you. And you'll love them just as much as I do. Eddie and Joe and Iris -"

"Iris?" There is a hard edge to her tone, a jealousy neither of them expected and he laughs, laughs as she bristles, his wolf howling in happiness as a response. He knows that was her wolf taking over, her eyes flashing yellow at the mention. But he doesn't care.

"A friend, only ever a friend." Her gaze is still hard, but it's the redness and glassiness that affects him the most. He takes her hand in his, squeezing it before continuing. "Her and Eddie mated the moment her wolf awakened. We always knew she was made for him." Her expression softens down, guilt swirling in her eyes as she ducks her head in embarrassment. She's back. "Hey, hey, hey" and his hand is cupping her chin, raising it to meet his gaze, "don't do that, don't hide from me." But still she averts her eyes. "It was hot," her nose crinkles at the descriptor, a look of confusion thrown his way. "It was totally hot the way you looked like you would fight her for me," his voice had dropped, its low baritone almost a growl as he pushes himself further against her. "Damn, it did things to me."

She looks at him this time, eyes owlish as she sees just how close he is from her, as she sees the golden flecks in his emerald pools, his gaze darkening as her heartbeat quickens. He can smell her faint arousal, knows she can do the same to him, and it's magnificent. He breathes deeply, inhaling it all, his senses sharp, focussing on her quickening pulse, the hitch of her breath, the way she clung to him without realising.

"Caitlin," he moans, affected by everything about her.

She bares the slope of her neck to him, a shuddering exhale leaving her as he drags his nose and lips against her exposed skin, the feeling more sensual without any fur in the way.

"You belong to me, and I belong to you," he utters against her skin, trying to brand her with the words. "I'm yours, your Barry." He tries to comfort her, but still she says nothing in return. "Say it," he growls desperately, "who am I?"

"My Barry," and her wolf preens at the sound of it coming from her mouth, so soft and delicate, a smile hidden in the words. He continues to press his face in the crook of her neck, taking in her scent, rubbing his face against her so she'll do the same. She still comes across as a little cold, but she is melting and Barry is content with what she offers.

"You're mine, my Caitlin." His teeth skim across the exposed flesh, jaw open and canines gently pressing against where their mark would be. It would happen as they consummate their mating, a bite that will never truly fade, one stop to show the world of their love. She whimpers as she feels the pressure against her, her body weakening with lust.

She leans forward as he pulls away, her own teeth scraping against the skin that would soon bear her mark. His grip on her waist tightens, body already reacting to the feeling. And it was glorious. She sucks the skin underneath her mouth hard enough to leave a bruise, lavishing attention on it with her lips and tongue and teeth. Electricity was running through his veins, every place of contact between them resulting in sparks large enough to burn the place down to the ground around them. He can hear the strangled groans leaving his mouth, knows he can't control them, not with her doing that to him, so aggressive and forward. He is weakening under her attack and he needs to stop, she needs to stop or else he would lose control.

He forces her away, a sharp gasp leaving her as he does so, her pupils blown wide. And the way her mouth drops open slightly, it is beautiful and crazy and he cannot stop himself- he is weak for her and he knows it will only get worse. He leans forward and captures her lips in his own, sucking on the bottom one until it was plump and sore, canine's nipping on it. and he drinks her in, the way her heart rate accelerates as they continue, how she relaxes into his embrace, the feel of her dainty hands nimbly finding their way underneath his shirt. And suddenly her hands are on his bare skin, nails lightly raking down his back, muscles rippling under her touch.

It aches him, physically aches him to pull away from her now, his wolf clawing to rise, to have her against his body on any surface, to sink into her, to mark her as his.

But he can't.

Even if the noises leaving her as he separates is enough to break a lesser wolf.

"Thank you." It is strained coming from her lips, and he knows that is only the human side of her, but he is her mate, he is to love her, all of her, and respecting both sides of her nature is the only way he can show that he wants to try and do so.

"It's nothing." He is running a hand through his hair, desperate to not catch her gaze lest he see something that would break his determination.

"It's not nothing, I can feel how much it is not nothing." And hearing her need saturate her words was agonising. He could smell her arousal, her pheromones calling him, begging him to take her. And he wanted to, oh how he wanted to wrap her in his arms and feel her skin on his own, to hear her screams in his ear as they completed the mating ritual. He could feel his canines growing at the thought of her milky skin underneath his mouth, the taste of her as he kissed his way down her body, the feel of her writhing underneath him, the sound of her begging and pleading for more, the breathless moans leaving her as he drove her to the brink.

"Caitlin I -" and he was backing away, out of this room with its shrinking walls, out into the outdoors where he would be able to smell nature and not the overwhelming scent of her calling to him. He could feel his mouth salivating at the thought of remaining. "I need to go. I won't be able to stop myself if I stay." And in an instant he was gone, leaving her panting and aroused and desiring more.

* * *

He returns a few hours later, some flowers in his hands as he ducks his head. He apologises for the way he may have come across, emotional and angry and too insecure. She breathes in their perfumed scent, sighing as he continues on, promising to be better, to know when not to push her further than he should.

He all but goes on his hands and knees, begging for her to give him another chance, _them_  another chance. She feels a twinge of remorse at the cold way she blew him off earlier, at her iciness when he didn't deserve it. Her own apology comes tumbling forth, she wants to explain why it's natural for her to go on the defensive, to tell him that she's been hurt before and doesn't want to let it happen again, but the words get stuck in her throat, unable to be lodged out. He accepts her apology before she has a chance to finish it, telling her that if she would give them a fresh start there would be nothing to forgive. She hesitates for the briefest of seconds, the thought of allowing someone close to her a scary one, but she nods, swearing to give them a try. And seeing his smile as they both promise to give their budding relationship a proper shot, she knows that it was the right decision, her wolf and human sides at peace.

He hugs her, nice and tight and long, never wanting to let go. But eventually he does, and with a sad heart he tells her he needs to leave.

She nods and, led by an impulsive nature she didn't realise she possessed, she presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, smiling as he stands there a little dazed before shaking himself out of it.

This may work, she thinks to herself, hugging the flowers close, this may actually work.

* * *

Wells calls her to him one morning a few days after.

"Caitlin-" She approaches him cautiously; he had never sounded like that over their bond before, and now she finds him polishing his glasses with the corner of his shirt, an almost disappointed sigh leaving him as he takes her in.

He knows.

Wells knew that she met her mate.

He was going to force her to leave.

Damn.

* * *

He doesn't do anything of that nature.

He sits down in his chair, indicates for her to do similarly.

And he explains the situation- Barry was her mate (she would forever sigh whenever it is mentioned) and that she would have to eventually leave and join his back.

But she wasn't going to leave just yet.

Barry had requested to visit more frequently, negotiations with the Star Pack the reason she had stumbled across him. And when the negotiations finished she would be obliged to go. But it would take some time and she was welcome to stay here for as long as the negotiations went on for.

She breathes in relief, her arms itching to go and hug her pack leader, the weights on her shoulders removed as she hears the words.

But the fear gnawing at her doesn't dissipate, the knowledge that there would be a time where he would waltz in and take her from her family. And she didn't think she would ever be ready for that.

* * *

The first time he returns to her it takes Caitlin completely by surprise, a lazy Sunday afternoon interrupted in the most wonderful of ways. She had been basking in the sunlight with Felicity, slowly drifting off to sleep when a shadow blocks the sun's rays.

She cracks open an eye, a body blurry standing over her. But her eyes adjust to the change of light and she sees his smirking face above hers, and she doesn't know how to respond. She feels happiness bubbling within her at the sight of him, but at the same time there is a worry that she would be whisked away from her family and sent to live with strangers, with only one small comfort in a sea threatening to drown her and swallow her whole.

He does nothing of the sort, only extending the crook of his elbow, a charming smile on his face as she slowly takes it, the squeals from Felicity enough to paint Caitlin's cheeks red in embarrassment.

Barry leads her away, a small picnic set in the clearing where she first found him. She knows there are tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, but she swallows them, determined to not be overcome by emotion. They meander their way through the clearing, stopping before the red and white checkered picnic blanket. She slowly detaches herself from his arm, unsure what she should do with him just standing before her awkwardly. And so she stands with him.

"I hope this is okay." He doesn't look at her, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he stares off to her left.

"It's more than okay." Her voice is thick with emotions, but he doesn't meet her gaze, doesn't respond, doesn't seem to have heard her speak. It is only when she slides her hand in his own he relaxes, a small smile thrown her way before he sits down, patting beside him, an eager smile on his face, one she finds herself returning.

It is a wonderful picnic, chocolate and eclairs and ice cream and everything she would have called a weakness. They talk and laugh, he tells her of his time in the Central Pack, of the nerdy, scrawny pup who was so fascinated with science and nature. Talks about Joe and Iris and Eddie and Alpha Singh. She jokes about her childhood, the little pup who skipped years in education, who found a kindred spirit in Felicity and Cisco at university, the pair of them introducing her to a world she wasn't familiar with.

She asks about his family and she watches as the light in his eyes dim. She wants to take back the question, to reach through time and steal the words from her lips before they could hurt him. An apology is already tumbling forth but he silences her when his hands slip over her own, holding her. It is in fragmented sentences, jaw clenched and glassy eyed, but he tells her. Tells her of his mother, of how a rogue wolf had killed her. How his father was exiled, torn away from him when he was only a pup, for killing his mate. She gasps horrified, the fierce insistence of his father's innocence squeezing her heart. Caitlin shuffles closer to Barry, her arms wrapping themselves around his waist. His face leans down into the crook of her shoulder, breathing her in, a shuddering exhale escaping him as he relaxes next to her.

Her fingers run through his hair, his body slumping against her, and in a tight voice she tells him about her father, how a crippling disease had taken control of his body, no healing ability enough to combat a genetic illness such as his. She confesses the pain of watching him wither away before her, the pain of not being able to do anything still haunts her nightmares. And she tells him of her mother, of how having her mate die in her arms, a confession of love still on his lips, had hardened her to the world. She had survived longer than most mates without their partner, but she wasn't her mother. She was a cold witch, uncaring of her children, apathetic to their needs. She had raised herself after that, two parents gone in one death, her brother at university. He had sworn to leave, to come back for her but she had made him stop, made him finish his education so that he could be the alpha her pack needed him to be.

She doesn't realise that she started crying until she finds Barry's face before her own, his hands cupping her cheeks, thumb brushing away the tears, the calloused fingertip sending jolts through her system with every swipe.

He jokes about them having skipped most of the basic relationship fundamentals and jumped straight into the sob stories and she laughs. It takes her by surprise, but the smile it brought to his face made everything just perfect.

He lays on his back, patting the ground before her, smiling as she lays beside him, snuggled into his side. They continue talking while watching the clouds float by, lighter topics discussed, Caitlin tilting her head up to watch him after a while, the sunlight making his face glow, his eyes so focussed on the sky and the memory he doesn't notice how his lips curl into a fond smile or how his fingers are twirling her curls between them, tangling themselves in her hair. He seems so much lighter than before, and she finds herself captivated by him, by all of him. The light and dark, his everything. It scares her how she finds herself attracted to him, wanting to know more. But she finds herself drawn to him and she doesn't want to stop.

It continues well past twilight, the sky on fire as the sun sets, and Caitlin basks in the beauty of it while Barry does that with her own. And soon stars decorate the black of night, the moon smiling down on them as they bond with each other more.

They linger in their time together, Barry only spending the night, a trip back to his own pack necessary. He would leave the next morning.

He walks her to her door, a soft kiss on her cheek leaving her flustered and unwilling to have the magical day end. She unlocks her door, turning one last time to say goodnight, butterflies swarming inside her stomach as she sees the look in his gaze, one that was for her. With a high voice she asks where he was intending on staying for the night. He seems floored by the question, flabbergasted as he stumbles over his words.

Eventually he manages to tell her that there was a hotel an hour away and that he had intended to book a room.

She shakes her head, at him or her thoughts she doesn't know, all she can think is to take his hands in her own. She looks down, captivated by the sight of her dainty hands in his larger one.

Caitlin is silent for a while, unable to form the words she needs, choosing to distract herself by thoughts of his hands, how strong and capable they were, how powerful, how they would feel across her body, touching her, marking -

He squeezes her hands and her head jerks up meeting his gaze, guilt in hers and lust swirling around in his. She almost doesn't say the words on the tip of her tongue. But she does.

Blushing furiously she invites him to spend the night at her house.

He accepts.

* * *

Caitlin offers him the spare room, blankets in her hand as she passes them to him, apologies on her lips as she takes in the room's messy condition. He thanks her with the corners of his mouth quirked up, dragging his feet into the room and quietly shutting the door behind him to prepare for sleep.

He lasts all of five minutes before grumbling, staggering out of the room he was in and into the kitchen where she is brewing her tea. Caitlin knows that she should be concerned or at least pretend to possess some of the attentiveness a host would have but he was shirtless and in boxers and she couldn't control her gaze from drifting up and down his lean frame, tongue darting out from between her lips, moistening them as she imagines just how this night could end.

"Please don't." His voice is hoarse, his eyes squeezed shut as he walks into the room, hands fisted by his side, knuckles white as he tries to exercise control. But she wasn't helping. "Don't look at me like that, don't _smell_  like that," and he takes a sniff automatically, a soft whine leaving him as he smells heaven, mouth watering at the thought of having her under his hands and mouth, touching and tasting and _devouring_.

She sniffs the air and smells her and him and their scents entwining and damn it, if it wasn't the most delicious thing she could imagine. Heat flares up inside her as her senses are assaulted, weakening her, her conscience quieting, the only thing she can hear is the sweet seductive whispers of her lust in her ear, urging her, tempting her.

"Cait-lin," he stutters through gritted teeth, nose bombarded with the smell of her arousal, wolf clawing at him, desperate for her to be in his arms, a whimpering mess under him. He wants - he _needs_  - to be touching her, to have her lips on his own, to feel her soft tendrils between his fingers as he runs them through her hair, to have her gasping against his lips, to have her lashes brush against his cheeks as her eyelids flutter closed, faces close. "Please think of something, _anything_ , just not that or I won't be able to control myself." They can hear his will breaking, eyes flickering yellow at his words. Any longer and his control will snap.

It's almost agonising to think of anything else; he was her mate, it was in their nature to think about it, to desire it until the mating had been completed. And then even after. Caitlin looks around, her heart stopping as her vision focusses on the one thing in her proximity that would permanently dampen her mood.

Barry doesn't mention the scent of pain and loss permeating the air, his eyes following her own, stopping as he catches sight of Caitlin and another man in a photo. It seemed as though it were only a few years ago, the man with dark hair and darker eyes, a thick, muscular frame that Barry could never compete with. They were both smiling at each other, unaware of the photo stealing their private moment away and showing it to the world. He feels his heart fall as she worries her bottom lip with her teeth, gaze focussing on the picture for far too long before looking at him, guilt and hurt swirling in her eyes.

He clears his throat, almost swept away in the intensity of her gaze, the urge to be close still haunting him. He wants to pull her close and never let go, to protect her from the pain, to take away the agonies of her past and take them on himself it would remove the look in her eyes. He wants to comfort her and care, to take care of her bundle her up in his arms and never let go. The desire roars in his mind, beats against his chest - he wants to be there, to protect.

But he barely knows the girl, a few conversations and scourging around secretly for any information on her is not enough. He fights back the urge to pull her in his arms, his hands fisted by his side as he watches on helplessly.

She seems to be fine, building herself up before his eyes, the broken girl from moments ago replaced with the one he had grown familiar to.

(but they were the same girl and he wanted all of her, her wolf side and human, her happiness and sadness. He wanted all of her and it still wounds that she feels as though she should hide any part of herself from him.)

"What brings you out of the room?" Her voice quivers but she carries on determined. "Is it too cold, do you need more blankets?" But he shakes his head, lips twitching into a firm line as he stands before her.

"I can't stay in there." She tilts her head to the side, waiting for him to continue. "It smells like other men," he says flatly, and the lack of vibrance takes her a bit by surprise. He had been so passionate every time she had spoken to him, and to hear him like that unnerved her. She didn't like it at all.

"Cisco yeah," she responds distractedly, memories of nights gone by flickering in her mind like an old film. "He sleeps over when he's too drunk to move." He grunts in acknowledgement; she had mentioned him before and he knows that there is nothing to worry about, but the thought of another werewolf near her, inside her house, ruffled him.

"Anywhere else untouched?"

"I can offer you the couch." It sounds like a question when it leaves her mouth, shoulders raising as she shrugs in apology.

"The couch is fine," he accepts gratefully, a smile on his face long after she nods happily and wanders into her own bedroom.

It is not.

Because she isn't there with him.

* * *

He remembers tossing and turning, a cold chill creeping down his spine. It's a nightmare, he realises, he's trapped in a nightmare. But then there is a light, a warmth pervading the room, filling him up, lifting him.

He wakes up slowly and reluctantly, unwilling to leave his dreams. But then he saw the messy locks of hair sprawled across his chest, the petite body of his mate curled up on top of his torso.

And he's suddenly very happy to leave his dreamworld.

He almost doesn't make a noise, the desire to go back to sleep, to enjoy this small piece of perfection while he still can.

But he can't.

(he still wants to.)

"Caitlin." He nudges her softly, a groan soft and annoyed coming from her in response. Her face buries itself deeper in his side, a content sigh leaving her as she relaxes and falls back asleep. He nudges her again, fingers gliding across her face, unable to resist. They cup the back of her neck, tilting it up. "Caitlin."

She wakes up slowly, sight blurry as she takes everything in. But her vision quickly focusses on the man before her. "Barry?" There is a question in her tone, confusion because she had been alone one second, with him the next. "What's happening?" She blinks, as though the action would have the vision before her disappearing. But it doesn't. It takes her a while to notice how cramped it is on the couch -

She's on the couch.

It's then that she remembers. Remembers the sleepless dreams, the pang inside her, the craving for something more, something so close she could almost taste it. Until she did.

She burns at the idea of sneaking into his lap, half asleep and controlled by a force she could never fight. But there she was. Wrapped all over him after inviting him to stay the night. Pleading for him to leave her with her pack while invading his space and scenting him with her.

Caitlin scurries off his lap, on her feet and ready to run. But then he is sitting up and pulling her beside him, a smile on his lips as he wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against his side. His chest shakes with laughter and she wants to bury her head in her hands, closing her eyes until the situation goes away. But she's an adult. She can't do that.

(she still wants to.)

"What happened?"

"I think it was my wolf," he nods - she thinks he nods. she may not have buried her head in her hands but she was staunchly avoiding looking in his direction. "I think she knew you were so close, and so she went to you."

"Makes sense," he says after a while. They had been sitting there in silence. He sounds so soft when he finally does choose to speak, and she finds her head bobbing as she tries to remain awake. Her mind is telling her to move, to go back to her warm, comfortable bed. But she can't find the strength, not when he was all warm and cozy and wrapped around her. Barry senses the shift in her mood, he watches amused as her head bounces up and down. He sees her go to move, her actions sluggish and half-assed. And smiling to himself he goes to move himself. "Come on, let's take you back to bed," she squeals as he lifts her up, his arm hooked underneath her knees, the other across her back, pulling her into his chest. She feels a warmth bloom inside her, one different from all the other times. It made her feel lighter, feel safe, and she curled herself into him, breathing in deeply, smiling happily as his scent invades her nostrils. And she falls asleep instantly.

He finds her room easily, the door still swung open. He loves the sight of it, eyes darting around from the poster of Paris on her wall to the laboratory coat thrown over the back of her chair. He already feels closer to her, arms tightening as he approaches her bed, reluctant to ever let go. He lowers her gently, fingers brushing away the hair that fell forward, tucking it behind her ear, grinning as she murmurs happily at the contact, a smile bright on her face even as her eyes remain closed.

His fingers continue to skim across her cheekbones, only stopping at the corner of her mouth, her lips so tempting, her face glowing.

He has to leave.

Has to leave before he ends up staying.

He takes steps away, pausing at the door to turn and stare just one final time. His mate, his Caitlin. Laying there so peaceful, without a care in the world. He finds himself falling without realising he could so close to meeting her. Just as he convinces himself to walk away, a couch and lonesomeness calling to him her voice rings out.

"Where are you going?" It's sleepy and Barry is thankful that he was too far away and that she was too tired, because the spike of lust in his body was unnecessary and not appropriate and he didn't think he would ever not crave her body. He clears his throat, hands running through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck as he tries to not look and feel sheepish.

"Back to the couch." But she shakes her head, shuffling over, lazily patting the bed beside her. She doesn't need to say anymore, Barry already moving to the other side of the bed, slipping underneath the covers.

"There is no way our wolf side will let us sleep in the same house and not be with each other," she explains before dropping her head against the pillow, leaning back, seeking his heat.

It makes sense; there was no fight causing the separation and their wolf nature called to the other, would continue to do so until they mated and forever after. They would always go to each other, always.

He slides his arms around her, pulling her back flush against his chest. His wolf purrs at the feeling of her curled around him, his body finally relaxing, shedding the tension he didn't realise he possessed.

"Good night Caitlin."

* * *

She wakes with him wrapped around her, limbs entwined, face resting on her chest.

And luna above, it was the most wonderful way to wake up.

She runs her hands up his arm, a garbled noise leaving him as he pulled her closer to him, burying his face into the crook of her neck. "Just a few more minutes please." Caitlin knows she should say no, should try and remove herself from his hold, but his voice was rough with sleep and she can feel the vibrations travel down her body, shaking her up.

And suddenly he is wide awake, eyes almost black as they meet her own.

She shivers at the sight of it.

"Caitlin -" His voice is raspy, rough with sleep and lust, and in the fog of the morning he forgets about his promise to himself to not make the first move. He latches his mouth on her neck, sucking on the skin available to him, a soft moan leaving him as he tastes her on his tongue. She's more vocal in the morning, gasps and pants in his ear driving him mad, the needy whimpers leaving her as she clings to him desperately pushing him further and further to the brink.

Her body arches as she feels his finger dance across her waistline, slipping underneath the thin shirt she wore as a pyjama top, wreaking havoc on her nerves as he kisses his way down her neck and shoulders, his teeth grazing her skin as he bites the shirt lightly, pulling it down her arm so he has more access to her skin. His hands slide higher, her stomach tensing underneath his touch, breath hitching as his hands rose even higher, searching for something - 

And suddenly he is on the other side of her room, his hands on her door frame, chest heaving and eyes black.

"That shouldn't have happened." She is so confused, her heart racing, chest heaving as she sucks breath into her lungs. Caitlin can hear the need in his voice, the rough timbre still sending shivers down her spine, flashes of heat running through her veins at the thought of it in her ear, his mouth brushing against her skin as he tells her every little thing he wants to do to her body.

Barry's groans wake her from her little trance, her cheeks burning as she was caught daydreaming about him.

"It did." It comes out a little shaky, her body and mind still a little ruined from a moment before. There is no denying the lust, not in her eyes or voice or the way she was sitting, her legs parted, palms flat on the bed slightly behind her, bearing her weight. Her chest was arched in the air and her hair was messy and sexy and he wanted to crawl over her, wanted to have his hands in her hair, holding her to him, her body plastered against his, her hands wandering down his body, clasping hi-

He shakes his head, dragging himself away from his thoughts and desires, guilt twinging his heart.

"I'm sorry -" She throws him a confused look, "I didn't ask, I just -"

"Barry." The understanding in her tone almost breaks him, his desire to stay away, to not run into her arms and never leave her side. "It's fine, I was enjoying it." And she shouldn't be saying things like that and looking at him with those doe eyes of hers and he is losing a battle he could never win.

He takes a step forward and the hitch of her breath echoes in the room.

"I should leave." And much like their first time he runs.

She feels an emptiness as he leaves her room and her house, his shirt and pants hastily thrown on, rushing for the bus that wouldn't arrive for hours.

Unlike the first time he doesn't come back.


	2. chapter ii

He doesn't come for a long while after he had left her like this, and the comforting words from Cisco and Felicity (and the death threats from Oliver) do nothing to comfort the wolf clawing inside her. She can sense the affects of him not being there. The singlet he had accidentally left behind - the very one she would cling to as she slept - was losing his scent and she needs him. Needs to hold him and touch him and be near him and know he was safe.

She was haunted at night with visions, Barry injured and alone, calling out her name, desperately needing her help as a dark shadow approaches him. And she would run, she would scream, every single damn time she would throw herself at him, the need to protect him an itch under her skin that she could never satisfy. Because every time she screamed he could never hear her, every time she reached for him she would fade through. Every time she tried to drag her eyes away from his shivering body attacked by the creature cloaked in darkness she failed. And she watched him die every night.

It was taking a physical toll, bags under her eyes, skin breaking out, the wolf rising to the surface so easily, barking at everyone who would dare look at her wrong.

Her friends were walking on eggshells around her and it made everything all the more worse. She was anxious and worried and angry and she didn't know how to stop it. All she knew is that she needed him desperately and she didn't know how to deal with the feeling.

Wells had seen enough, the man snapping, sending her off for some menial task in the centre of the woods. She knows it is just to separate her from everyone else- she was ready to bite their heads off and she was itching for an excuse. The words were brisk, his eyes hard as he tells her to get some herbs, the wolf and human inside her ducking their head in shame at the silent chastisement of her alpha.

Dragging her feet she does what he asks, movement sluggish, mind sidetracked.

Caitlin distracts herself easily, fantasies playing in her mind. Somewhere in her head she thinks she should be ashamed; she had met him only twice. But then there are memories of Barry's arms wrapping around her, his face buried in her neck, his scent invading her nostrils, sinking into her skin, marking her as his and she doesn't feel embarrassment, only need.

If she sniffs hard enough she could almost smell the earthy scent that hangs off him -

But then she can smell him.

She doesn't remember moving, doesn't recall anything from the time her nose scents her mate. She suddenly finds herself running to him, her legs around his waist and her arms wrapping around his chest. And she could breathe easy now, now she had him against her, warm and alive.

"I missed you." She wants to curse herself, the quiver in her voice betraying how much she needed him. But the look in his eyes was enough to steal her breath, to steal her heart.

"Oh gosh Caitlin," and he buries his head in the crook of her neck, breathing deeply, a content rumble leaving him as he touches her, sees her, smells her, hears her heartbeat racing. His senses are in overdrive and all he wants is to taste her too, to memorise the taste of her skin. "I've been going crazy without you," he whispers, looking up, her face the only thing he could see.

She rests her forehead on his own, breathing deeply, enjoying the small moment of perfection they were granted. She focusses on his face, her fingers drawing shapeless patterns on him, enjoying the feeling of him under her palm.

"What happened to you?"

"The same thing that happened to you." It comes out gruff, but his face is soft, eyes tracing the outline of her face, soaking in the beautiful sight before him.

And she understands.

"Do you leave tomorrow?" She sounds strong, so strong when she feels like she is breaking inside. She couldn't lose him already, not after just getting him. Her wolf growls at the thought of it and she's sure that if he responds in the affirmative she wouldn't be able to resist the urge to follow him to the ends of the earth to be by his side.

Her heart is in her throat, and she can feel her chest tightening.

"Wells complained that it was impossible to get any proper negotiations if I leave the very next day." He smiles at her, dimples and all, and she's so happy, so relieved that he wouldn't be leaving so soon that she feels sick. "I agreed to stay for a week so that they can go more smoothly."

She beams at him and he knows it was the perfect response.

"Don't wait so long next time," and when he locks eyes with her, neither of them can look away. They can hear the pounding of her heart loud in her chest, racing at the thought of such a separation so soon after they met each other.

"Never."

Her gaze drops to his lips as he speaks the words licking her lips as she leans forward, stopping just before his mouth, a teasing smile on her mouth as he whines in annoyance. She meets his eyes and bend down further, his eyes a green fire burning her through.

"You _can_  kiss me," she laughs quietly, her nose running down the slope of his, eyes sparkling as she watched him. He dimples at her, smile bright and little crinkles around his eyes and she swears her heartbeat stops at the sight of something so beautiful.

"I know." It is a soft whisper, his hand still holding her waist, thumb sliding underneath her top to rub circles against her skin. And she feels as though she were soaring amongst the birds, her heart swelling with happiness. "I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself sometimes. You just smell so good, and you taste amazing and -" he breaks off, embarrassed at his apparent lack of control, his head dropping as his body stirs at the thought of it.

"Hey, hey, hey." And she is there, tilting his head back up, pools of concern swirling in her gaze, "it's okay, I trust you."

And so he kisses her, he kisses her until her lips are swollen and red, until he could barely support his own weight let alone both of them. He lowers her to the ground and continues to kiss her, kissing her mouth and cheeks and neck and palms and wrists and everything and anything he could reach.

He listens keenly to everything, the sound of her heartbeat, the giggles as his affection tickles, moans as it does more.

Barry knows he needs to stop, somewhere deep, deep down he knows that he should stop. But he doesn't. He spends his time getting to know her reactions, her weaknesses. (It's him, he doesn't know it but she does. He is her weakness and damn, it was too fast, too soon. She knows that when she's alone she'll freak out, but now she is just going to enjoy every moment she has.)

He eventually does stop, a satisfied smile on his face as he takes Caitlin in. He pulls her near, unable the resist the urge to pepper kisses across her neck as she sighs content and leans back against him.

"I'm starting to think you're just using me for my body," she jokes.

"It's because I am," he replies easily, a casual wink thrown her way. But even as he does that his hands are brushing stray curls from her face, movements so gentle and kind she finds her chest squeezing in response.

They stay curled up together for a little longer, her back pressed against his chest, his hands winding across her hips, up her stomach, hand held against her heart. They stay until the sun sets under the horizon, until the moon rises, basking them in its low light, until they couldn't stay awake any longer.

And then Caitlin takes them home.

* * *

She jolts awake a few hours later, warmth blooming inside her, a happiness she doesn't understand. She rolls over sleepily, bleary eyes facing an awake Barry, a small grin on his face as he watches her sleep.

"Go back to sleep," she murmurs, eyelids already fluttering closed. "And why are you so happy? My bed hair is always terrible." She is falling back asleep when she jumps at the bolt of surprise down her spine. She meets his gaze again, his eyebrows furrowed as he struggles to accept the truth.

"Did - did you just -"

"Yes," she finishes, voice shaky as she realises just what happened. She was able to feel his emotions. They were starting to bond.

"Hey, hey, hey" he starts, cradling her face, bringing his closer to her, echoing her words from earlier. "This is fine, we'll be alright." He can feel her panic, she realises, he can feel it and he doesn't know what to do. But what he is doing is enough, his scent calming her slightly, his words and voice soothing her. She relaxes slowly, and she sees the tension leave him as well. "You okay?" he asks, worry in his gaze, a fearfulness that he would scare her away.

She nods in reply, curling up to his side, determined to sleep for a few more hours. She listens to the sound of his heartbeat, the steady pounding hypnotising, and the last thing she recalls is the feeling of soft lips on the top of her forehead. And then she is asleep.

* * *

It takes them a complete twenty four hours before they feel like they could separate from each other for any length of time. They stumble into Wells the next afternoon, cheeks red and movements awkward as he levels them a stare before walking away without a word.

They look at each other and blush. But they still linger, Barry reluctant to follow Wells to his office.

But he has to go. She has to go.

He has a meeting. She has a job and patients.

Barry pecks her cheek before walking into the room before him, missing the hand that she lifts to her face, fingers skimming the still-burning skin where his lips brushed against moments before. It steals her breath, small things like that. A small act of intimacy that has her craving more of it, of him. Her eyes follow him in the room and remain for a tad longer. She only manages to pull herself away from the door when she feels the push of her alpha, Wells staring at her with an amused expression.

Ducking her head in embarrassment at being caught she finally leaves, walking briskly across the building to the small hospital they have on pack land. She shakes her head, laughing to herself as she replays the last few hours. And it surprises her how happy she is with him nearby, how calm and safe she feels knowing that she would only have to run across the area to see his face, only have to sniff the air to catch his scent.

She stumbles into the hospital a few minutes late and the smile still lingering. No one mentions her tardiness nor the grin, but she sees them reciprocate it when they catch her doing so. It makes her feel lighter than before, a spark of energy on a rather mundane day. She gets her schedule and walks into the first room, a small pup struggling with the growing pains of her upcoming first shift.

Caitlin greets her with a smile, radiating a calm energy that has the pup relaxing within seconds.

It is going to be a wonderful day, she just knows it.

* * *

The meeting finishes relatively quickly, ends with Harrison removing his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose, ends with Barry desperate to hold Caitlin once more.

It was never going to be easy, they both knew it. But it was necessary for the protection of both their packs.

Still, it left Barry with a hole inside him, desperate and eager to have his mate in his arms, to have his nerves soothed by her touch and presence.

He sniffs the air, discreetly, trying to locate his mate, wondering if she has had her lunch, eager to take her out and spoil her.

"She's in the hospital." Harrison's voice snaps his concentration, Barry's ears burning as he realises that the alpha had noticed what he was trying to do. "Out the door and across the courtyard. You can't miss it." The older man hadn't even looked up at the young werewolf, his head resting on his palms, eyes scanning the paper before him, the creases on his forehead indicating just how seriously he was taking this treaty.

Barry contemplates not actually going for a split second, the alliance something he did need to take seriously. But the older alpha only has to give him a pointed stare before Barry leaves him alone, searching for his mate.

He finds her easily, her scent potent and alluring, pulling him near effortlessly. He finds himself at the door of the small hospital clinic, leaning on the door frame as he drinks her in. She is bending over a patient, treating a wound that some hunters had caused while they were wandering through the area. He sees the delicacy she treats the flesh wound, sees her mouth move slightly, hears the soothing words she whispers as she treats the scared young teenage wolf, likely a few moons a few their first shift, unable to curb the urge to shift, still honing in on their sense to hear and evade others nearby.

Barry doesn't know how long he remains there, watching her, and he finds himself not caring. Just watching her made him feel content. He senses a shift, feels another person brush against, but not past him. One look to his right shows another man with shaggy hair and a slurpie in his hands, mirroring his posture, also watching Caitlin, a few sneaky glances thrown in Barry's direction when he thought Barry wasn't paying attention.

"You know Caitlin?" Barry startles a little as the other wolf addresses him, a long slurp from his drink after the question causing Barry to grit his teeth. But it's more than that. His scent is teasing Barry, familiar and yet so new. He struggles to control his wolf, so desperate to growl and bare his teeth at the new stranger.

If the other wolf can sense his inner turmoil he doesn't voice any concerns, turning back to Caitlin and smiling widely at her antics.

"Yeah," Barry responds after a while. He casts a sidelong glance at the guy beside him. "Why?"

"No reason," the other wolf shrugs, not looking away. "I just haven't seen you around here, that's all. Dunno how you would have met her."

Barry doesn't comment, his wolf tense and aggressive, itching for a showdown. He turns his attentions to Caitlin who had moved on to another patient resting on the hospital beds, blood samples being taken as she tries to cure their illness.

"She's amazing." Barry doesn't hide the affection, doesn't think he would need to. But the wolf beside him stiffens at the words, eyes hard as he turns to Barry.

"I don't think I introduced myself: Cisco Ramon, resident beta and best-friend of the woman you're staring at. So I wouldn't try anything with her unless you want to deal with everyone here."

And he remembers where he had first smelt it. All over her house and on the spare bed.

"She's my mate."

Barry may be a little possessive when he states that.

He turns to stare at Caitlin once more. Caitlin was good, Caitlin was nice. The mere sight of her was enough to calm him slightly.

"Your mate?" He hears the incredulity in the voice of the man beside him, but he ignores it. He just watches her move like a swan, so fluid and graceful, a small smile on her face, voice gentle and soft as she treats them. She looks up in that instant, eyes meeting his own, a deep red filling her expression. She sucks her lips into her mouth, but it is unable to hide the smile, eyes lighting up at the sight of him. Barry smiles and nods, the world slowing down and fading away in that small moment, the only other person in the world his Caitlin and he loves it, his chest bursting with a feeling he can't describe. " _Holy crap_!"

And suddenly the moment breaks and the world is as it was before.

Barry turns to the guy next to him, takes in the jaw slacken expression and wide, unblinking eyes.

"She never mentioned me?" There is hurt in his voice, in his eyes, in his posture, slouching at the the thought of her not caring enough to tell anyone about their meeting.

"No, she had." He perks up at that. "Told us all about a mate that was almost an alpha in another pack, how he was going to take her away when he had Alpha Wells had finished the treaty they were working on." Cisco's eyes narrow as he continues, glaring at his friend's mate. "I had to live with the effects of the separation for the past months, her mood swings and depression. I had to remind her to eat when they never bothered calling. Because a phone does exist. And it goes a _long_  way in helping a mate out."

He sighs, shoulders slumping. He had never gotten her number - he had intended to, but his leaving was so abrupt and rushed it had slipped his mind.

He didn't remember until that night as he curled up in his bed, a longing to hear her voice washing over him. He had reached for his mobile before belatedly realising he had no number. Not her's, not Wells'. No one's.

It drove Barry absolutely mad, but he couldn't go back, not after he had just returned. Alpha Singh was giving him more responsibilities, a watchful eye on his every move. He would be alpha soon and he couldn't slip up, couldn't make it seem as though the pack were anything less than his top priority. He could feel himself withering away, missing her more and more until she was the only thing he could think of. Alpha Singh had sent him away with a roll of his eyes, scoffing at his protege, almost forcing him to return to his mate. His partner had leaned over once Singh had walked away, telling him of how fond Singh was of him, how his bark was worse than his bite.

And so armed with a treaty and a need for his mate Barry had come.

But clearly not soon enough.

Wells had joined her at that point, taken her aside so that they could discuss urgent pack business without others listening in.

"Cait and Doctor Wells are like the mum and dad of the family -" Cisco stops and steals Barry's attention away from his mate. "I don't know what any of us would do without one of them to turn to." They both turn to the woman in question, distracted by the sight of her smiling, bouncing on the balls of her heels as she listens to whatever Wells was saying. "Don't take her away from us just yet." Cisco sounds so small that Barry has to take a second to process.

"I won't," he promises, "not just yet."

But the words he doesn't say ring loudly in their ears.

 _Not just yet - but eventually_.

* * *

He is around more and more, her mate. Sometimes talking to Wells, but more often than not, with her and her family. He wins Cisco over immediately, the two of them more like brothers than friends, Felicity and Oliver following not long after (though the latter was much more reluctant than accepting her mate than anyone else.)

He doesn't win Hartley over at all.

Caitlin considers it a point in Barry's favour.

It takes her some time to catch on the the frequency of his visits and the lack of time he spends them with Wells, so distracted by their dates with each other, soaking in everything that she can in the few moments she is allowed.

"Are you attempting to _court_  me?" She almost wants to laugh at his attempt, the shy grin on his face so adorable she finds herself swooning instead. But then something hits her. "There are no negotiations taking place between your pack and mine."

He shakes his head, eyes flickering away at her scrutinising gaze. "There was, but we finished it a long time ago."

"But then why didn't you bring me to your pack. I agreed to go." She sounds so lost he finds himself taking a step forward, sliding his hands in hers. He looks at their joined palms, his thumb running over her knuckles.

"I figured that you wouldn't like being forced into this, and you hold such a high spot in your pack... I wanted to ease you into me, into us being mates. So I figured that maybe I should leave it up to you - when you want to come with me, you can come. But I'm not going to drag you with me."

(And really, with him there, speaking those words in earnest, how does anyone expect her to not throw her arms around his neck and pull his lips against hers?)

* * *

It isn't always perfect between them, the fierce nature of both often combining in an explosion, Caitlin shutting him out, frustrating him further. There is a silent promise that he would never leave without them resolving an argument, and he keeps it, the pair of them struggling through the fires of every relationship, coming out stronger for it.

But it doesn't stop them from happening, especially in front of their friends.

"I haven't seen her that angry since Ronnie," Cisco comments with eyebrows raised, before slurping from his drink. He watches Barry run his fingers through his hair, pacing as he refuses to look at the door Caitlin stormed out of, as though it would allow him the upper hand in the fight.

"Ronnie?" Barry questions, flashes of his first time at her house coming to mind, the man who was so close to her. He stills, gaze focussing on Cisco's body, its intensity unnerving the man.

"Oooh," Cisco winces. "She hasn't mentioned him?" Barry can tell the other werewolf feels awkward, shuffling in his spot, bouncing with a nervous energy.

"No." It is short, the anger still simmering away inside him taking a dangerous shift, jealousy rearing its head, his wolf fully embracing it, snarling at him about this competitor.

"Well, it's not my place to say..." And in an instant the man runs out of the room, determined to avoid any further interrogation.

Barry receives a message from Cisco minutes later: _ask Caitlin_.

And Barry wants to. He just fears the answer.

* * *

("Who's Ronnie?" he finally asks when the anger leaves them both, the pair curled up on her bed, smiling as they lie there spent, muscles sore in the nicest of ways.

She stiffens beside him.

"Someone who used to make me very happy."

He doesn't prod any further.)

* * *

She knows as soon as she tells Barry that he didn't need to travel over that week it was a bad decision. But he seemed so stressed in their call, an increase in rogue attacks that she couldn't steal him away, even if he was offering. She shakes her head to herself, an endearing smile on her face as she whispers that she will be okay and that he has a pack to help take care of. He would be alpha shortly and he could never place his mate over his pack. Never.

He grumbles and sighs, relenting to her arguments, promises of returning soon on his tongue. They talk well into the morning, Barry's husky voice thick with sleep bringing a drowsy smile to her face. She loves moments like this, times where she can listen to him speak about something so passionately. Caitlin can almost see the emerald of his eyes shining, his mouth almost tripping over the words as he rushes to get them out. She can hear the tiredness in his tone, the way his words start to drawl but never lose their vigour. It's times like these that she misses him the most, times like this very moment she wishes he were there beside her, his mouth near her ear as he murmurs everything to her, his fingers rubbing soothing circles against the small of her spine, lulling her into sleep, his body curled around her own.

Caitlin wakes up late that day, stretching and grinning to herself as she thinks about hours before. And apparently more hours than she anticipated. A warmth floods her inside at the memory of them talking hours upon hours, the reality of time and sleep a distant dream, forgotten at the thought of strengthening their bond.

She wants to call him, to hold him, to have the world stop turning for just a moment so all she needs to think of, to focus on, is him.

But that can only remain a dream. She has a life and he has his own. She couldn't stop his just for one selfish moment of happiness, not with the rogues coming closer to his pack's land.

She sighs, feeling alone in the moment. It is her day off and Cisco was tinkering away in the mechanics lab, too engrossed in his work to spare a few hours for lunch. After a few moments she decides to take a walk through the woods. Her wolf was itching under her skin; she was a werewolf, a love of nature stained her DNA, a need to be immersed in it branded across her skin. She slides her clothes off, folding them neatly before hiding it under a bush.

Caitlin shifts effortlessly, her claws raking the soil underneath her paws, panting happily as she feels her connection to the earth strengthen.

She runs. Runs across the woodland area her pack own. Runs to the streams that run across it, runs through the clearings, chases the foxes that lived in the area. The crack of thunder above her excites her, worries her. She knows she should be cautious, lightning was a danger in more ways than one. But she didn't want to turn around, to head home and curl up in her bed, longing for the smell of the wet earth and chill of the cold rain.

So Caitlin continues on.

She senses the shift in the atmosphere, something unsettling sinking into her chest. Her heartbeat picks up, gaze darting everywhere, seeking out what had put her on edge. She is tense, body wired for a confrontation she shouldn't be expecting.

The rain streams down, wetting her fur, the white darkening. She is dirty and muddy and she doesn't feel safe. She can feel her emotions rising, but she quashes them, focussing on survival.

The rain is pelting now, the sting of the water droplets against the trunk of her body doing nothing to numb the fear growing inside her. Something was wrong, so so terribly wrong. Caitlin looks around, searching for ghosts and monsters, eyes seeing figures in the darkness, shadows of her nightmares coming to life around her.

All she hears is rain and heartbeats, too many heartbeats, so fast, too fast. Her head swings around, the lightning and falling branches the least of her problems.

Hunters.

A shriek of agony tears from her lungs as she is shot.

The bullet slices into her skin like a hot knife through butter, the silver burning her insides, corroding her skin away. She falls, the pain too much to bear at once, the darkness of oblivion calling her name.

Caitlin struggles to stay awake; she knows that the hunters are nearby, that they would want her alive. She shudders at the thought - nothing good would come from staying alive.

She feels a flare of panic inside- she knows it's not her, she accepted her fate.

But there is a flash of a face in her mind, bright eyes and dark hair, lean frame and warm smile.

 _Barry,_  her wolf stutters, struggling to focus on anything. _Mate. Live for mate. Live_.

She drags herself away from camp, blood dripping from the wound on her side. She prays that the rain will wash away her scent, the dogs with the hunters a soft buzz, too far away now, but they would track her down. And she couldn't let them find the others.

And with the last of her energy she pulls at the connection between her and Wells, screams across the line that is dying along with her.

 _Hunters_ , she manages. _Shot._

She feels his alarm, but she ignores it, steeling herself from the panic of both alphas. She doesn't glimpse the past as her life leaves her, she witnesses the future. Witnesses Alpha Wells and Cisco at her funeral, witnesses the destruction and mayhem that it leaves the pack in.

Witnesses the utter devastation of Barry. Her Barry.

Caitlin sees him withering away, pulling away from his pack, blocking out all his emotions, mourning something he never really had. Something she had denied him, had denied herself.

 _Please don't let me die_.

And then she welcomes the darkness.

* * *

She wakes to a room of white. White walls and sheets, white doors and white bed. She doesn't recall sleeping here, dimly remembers the cave she stumbled into, the cold rain plastering her hair to her face, numbing her from the pain of the bullet.

She wakes to anger.

A soul consuming fury that leaves her breathless and seething and she doesn't have the strength for such an overpowering emotion.

Caitlin hears growling outside; a were furious and filled with rage.

"Let me go to my mate."

But it couldn't be...

"Barry?" she whispers drowsily, unbelieving that he would be there. Because he needs to be with his pack, needs to learn to lead them. He shouldn't be here with the rogue situation.

But the anger in her vanishes instantly, the head she had dreamt of popping up before her very eyes, emerald hues almost glowing in relief and happiness.

And she finds herself engulfed in his scent, in his arms, in him. She breathes deeply, a content rumble in her chest even as she winces in pain.

"Caitlin, oh luna Caitlin, I thought I had lost you, I can't lose you, don't you ever do that again." It's a litany of words she can only just decipher, leaving him so fast and passionately. Caitlin relaxes in his arms, eyes fluttering shut as she breathes him in, letting his joy settle her, feelings of calm and safety washing over her.

She looks over his shoulder, Alpha Wells and Cisco hovering at the door, conflicted. She jerks her head to the side, the pair of them approaching the side of her bed as her mate snuggles close.

Caitlin knows she should pull away from Barry's embrace but she couldn't do that to either of them, not with his arm curled around her body, the man and the wolf both in agreement to never let her go. Ever.

"Hey," she starts hesitantly.

"Snow," Wells responds, his head bowing in acknowledgement of her awakened state and recovery. It is only in his eyes that she can see the relief he feels at her being awake and it touches her heart.

"Caitlin I swear on the moon above, if you ever almost die again, I will kill you myself." Barry snarls beside her, canines bared at Cisco as he hears the words. But no one heeds the alpha-in-training, focussing on Caitlin and her condition, Wells already flipping through the charts hanging on the edge of her bed, scanning for anything that may have been missed.

"Cisco I'm fine." She's not.

"Don't you lie to me Caitlin," he snaps back, not missing a beat.

"Cisco, I'll be fine," she stresses, her annoyance only shallow, a teasing smile on her lips as she looks at him in exasperation. If he notices the subtle changing in her sentence he doesn't mention it, only looking at her with furrowed eyebrows for a moment longer before the worry on his face clears, a bright smile replacing it.

"Good," he nods.

Her nurse bustles in at that moment, not flinching at the sight of two alphas and a beta surrounding the newly awakened woman. She kicks them all out, a firm gaze directed at all who protest.

It is then that Caitlin receives the update on her condition. Silver bullet on her side. It took them too long to find her- she almost hadn't made it the first night. Caitlin shudders at the thought of it; she knows that silver in the blood induces hallucinations and she's thankful that those nightmares were forgotten.

But she also knows that the curiosity will get the better of her, that she and Sherry- the nurse- will go out for drinks after a long shift in the near future, knows that she will ask and her friend will buckle. But for now she knows she is blessed with sweet ignorance.

She isn't allowed to leave the ward for a fortnight, the silver in her body corroding away the skin; it takes longer to heal and she grumbles continuously about the lock down. Nurse Sherry gives her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before leaving, Cisco's name ringing loudly through the halls, pairs of shoes echoing down the hall as two men ran towards the open door of her hospital room.

Barry curls himself around her again, his nose against her neck, the man breathing deeply as he presses his nose against her pulse point. Cisco pouts, throwing himself on the seat next to her bed, explaining that Wells had to go and do "Alpha stuff" when her gaze falls to the empty door frame for the second time in as many minutes.

Caitlin smiles softly as her oldest friend rambles on about what she had missed out on, stories that she can't help but grin at, her eyes becoming heavy as he recounts the misadventures surrounding his latest invention.

And listening to his soothing voice, feeling Barry's hand slip under her shirt, calloused finger pads rubbing small circles on her stomach, she falls asleep.

* * *

She awakens a few hours later, the moonlight pouring in through her window, Barry attempting to slowly disentangle himself from her hold.

With a whispered apology he tells her he has to leave, that he has already overstayed the time he was allowed, that he needed to go back to his pack. His heart bleeds as he sees her expression, and he fights the urge to steal her away, to take her home with him so that she'll be near. Caitlin nods far too vigourously to be genuine when he asks if she'll be okay without him, but she is tired and hurt and she needs him. But not more than his pack did.

Barry presses a soft kiss to her lips; he intends it to be quick, but he lingers, the fear of losing her clawing at his heart, the wounds still so raw. Too soon however, he is pulling away, allowing himself a moment to take her in, the small perfection he was graced with. Her hair fanned out underneath her, eyes dark - the light of the moon shining in the black pools, her lips curled up demurely, tempting him to return to her side, to kiss her and love her until she couldn't think straight.

But he has to leave and it breaks both their hearts the moment he does.

Caitlin comforts herself with the knowledge that Cisco will be here everyday, Felicity too if Cisco's tales were to be believed. Knowing Oliver he may sneak in the whole pack of them, and she goes to sleep with a smile on her face, thoughts of Laurel and Oliver sneaking through the halls in leather -black and green she decides- Felicity and Cisco working the tech and Lyla and Mr Diggle coordinating the attack.

It's a superhero movie in her head and the smile never leaves her expression, not when she dreams and most certainly not when she wakes up, the beaming faces of her closest friends - her family - looking down at her.

* * *

Barry unlocks her door with a goofy grin on his face. It is a unplanned, his visit a surprise and he couldn't wait until it was revealed. He had been gone a month, forced back to his pack only hours after Caitlin had awoken from being shot.

The calls weren't enough, hearing her voice everyday as she recounted her recovery wasn't enough.

He hadn't called last night, guilt gnawing at him as he imagines her confusion as she received a text in its place, a quick message saying he was caught up in pack meetings and couldn't spare the time. It was a lie of course, but calling would have delayed his travels and he didn't want to spend another moment outside of her company.

He wanders her house. She isn't there.

And he feels concern.

Moments tick by before he decides to find someone in the pack, the urge to tug on the bond until he found her almost overwhelming him. But he couldn't do that, not just yet. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that he may not like the answer he receives.

He walks about, looking for somebody, anybody, he recognises, heart lightening as he catches a glimpse of Cisco.

"Cisco!" The man turns around, his eyes widening as he saw the figure approaching.

"No. No, no, no. You cannot be here right now." And to Barry's confusion the other man starts pushing him, his hands placed on his shoulders and _pushing_."

"Cisco where's Caitlin?"

"I'm not hearing this, you're not here. Go!" He moves quite a considerable distance towards the exit of the pack land, too lost to put in much of an effort against the other werewolf's prodding. But it doesn't last long. Cisco groans as he feels Barry dig in his heels, his body not budging against the pushing, instead twisting so that they were face to face. He tries one more time helplessly, knowing that he couldn't do anything now.

"What's going on? Where's Caitlin?" The other man purses his lips, eyes shifting away momentarily. Hesitating.

" _Cisco_!" Barry growls. His eyes flash yellow.

The other man pauses before nodding slowly.

"I need to get Wells for this."

* * *

 

He trails behind Cisco, a shroud of silence following them, none speaking. Cisco leads him to the edge of the pack's land, far away from where they were before. In front of them towers a small building, seemingly abandoned by the pack, but Cisco walks in and Barry doesn't hesitate to do so himself.

He looks around confused; the house didn't have anyone in it, no scent or noises.

But then Cisco opens the trapdoor under the rug in the bedroom.

And everything makes sense.

* * *

 

It is a cover - the deteriorating house is just a cover for what is a wonderful interrogation base and what he suspects doubles as a torture chamber.

Doubles for a dungeon.

He meets Harrison at the feet of the stairs, the man leading both him and Cisco to a small room surrounded by reinforced glass, the herbs neutralising any scents in the air.

"Where is she?" he blurts out immediately, worry growing inside him, a need to see her safe growing with each passing second.

"She is safe." Barry knows he is avoiding the question, the other alpha picking up his glasses, focussing more on them than Barry.

"What happened?" he presses, his desperation bleeding into his voice, pleading for the two men beside him to tell him the truth. He looks at Harrison but he simply looks to Cisco, the other wolf fidgeting with his fingers, unable to remain silent for long.

"Her medicine had some... adverse reactions with her suppressants." The pair of them wince as the words come out of Cisco's mouth, Barry's nostrils flaring, the itch to shift, to succumb to his emotional change and save her from everyone, rising up from inside.

"What?" It is spat out, words turning into a snarl at the thought of her sick and lonely, needing him. He tugs on their bond to no avail, nothing of comfort going through.

"When I say adverse reaction, I mean eliminated the effectiveness of it entirely." Cisco's voice is high and he rushes the rest of the sentence out.

Barry pauses.

"She - are you saying she's in heat right now?" There is disbelief in his tone; he should be able to feel it, yet everything was dulled, barely a trickle of emotion making its way through. And he knew the effects a woman's heat would have on her mate, an insane desire to be near her, to be with her. To be in her. Barry can't deny he had never thought about it, her scent already delectable and mouthwatering, her beauty something that haunts him in the late hours of the night. He had most definitely thought of it, but he had never dreamt of it happening, not so soon.

"Yes Mr Allen, she is. And the serum we've given her to stop its effects won't protect you if you get any closer. So unless you want to feel the full effects of your mate undergoing heat you are going to need to stay here." The voice of Harrison snaps him out of his thoughts, the look from both werewolves enough for him to know his heartbeat could be heard loud and thunderous. He refuses to look guilty.

"But who is taking care of her? Is she in pain?" There is a barrage of questions running through his mind at that moment, and he is stumbling over his words, in such a rush to have his worries alleviated.

"We are taking full care of her," Cisco answers, his eyes compassionate as he sees his friend lost and confused and without his mate. "Nothing will happen to her on our watch." And words that were supposed to comfort him don't.

"What?!" He turns to Cisco snarling, unable to control himself. "My mate is in heat and you are near her. You're still susceptible to her, how could you possibly be okay -"

"I'm mated," he answers simply. It is a revelation that takes Barry by such surprise he doesn't notice his mouth fall open, as he stares openly at the man he thought he knew. "Well, I was mated. To a rogue. She preferred a life I couldn't provide so she left me."

"But how -" Barry doesn't know how to finish the sentence, it was well documented what happens to werewolves who have been rejected by their mates. They die. Slowly. Painfully. They simply die and he isn't sure how to navigate through this wormhole. Cisco's look softens and he saves Barry, who is gaping like a fish, struggling for words.

"You know Laurel, right?" And Barry could hear the pride in his voice as well as the sorrow. "Her mate died the same time; we both were hurting because of the loss and it's like our souls mushed together when we helped each other through the pain so now we're bonded." He smiles widely then. "Probably helps that I had the hugest crush on her."

"For real?" Barry exclaims, shock dripping from his words. "You bonded with her, that's actually possible?!"

"Oh padawan, there is so much you don't know," Cisco teases, a toothy grin remaining on his face as Barry scowls at him.

"So what's it like?" he finally asks, the silence unbearable, the need to distract himself from his mate's pain overwhelming.

"I mean, the sex is great," he blurts out immediately. Barry snorts in laughter, but Cisco remains unashamed, continuing on, smiling softly. "Like _really_  great, but it's more than that. She makes me happy, and-" he falters slightly, the words caught in his throat, choked out eventually. "I think I make her happy too."

"I don't doubt it buddy." And they meet eyes, a moment of comfort between the two passing -

-interrupted by Harrison clearing his throat.

They both turn to him, as he sits there, eyeing them both levelly.

"You also forget that Laurel and Felicity are not affected by Caitlin's pheromones," the way Cisco's eyes light up, the bright smile stretching further, causes Wells to amend his statement, " _much_. They take care of her physically and when they are out we try and calm her down."

"And what can you actually?" he questions, almost pleadingly, as though they could pull a solution from a magic hat if he could just will them to.

"Well this baby," Cisco starts, pointing at a small lab set in another corner of the room, far from the desk. "It is supposed to enter the respiratory system through the air, and when the heart pumps the oxygen around, these small particles work themselves around her body, instantly neutralising the effects of her heat."

"Has any of them worked yet?" Cisco's face falls slightly.

"Well, no. But biochemistry is more Caitlin's forte then mine. Don't worry bro," he adds, seeing Barry's crestfallen expression, "I got this." The sound of a throat clearing has Cisco rolling his eyes, a pointed look in Wells' direction as he amends the statement. " _We_  got this. She'll be fine."

It is then that her scream echoes in their little chamber, a panicked look on Barry's face as he hears the piercing sound reverberate in their small room. He watches lost as Harrison moves to the desk in the corner of the room, picking up the microphone, switching it on.

"Alpha I can't take it any longer, I need - "

"Caitlin," Barry breathes out, pulling the microphone from Harrison's grasp and into his own, praying his voice would soothe her agony, needing to do something - _anything_  - to help alleviate the pain she was in. "I'm here, what do you need?"

"Barry?" she whines, desperation leaking into her tone. "You're here? You can't be here, I -" she interrupts her ramble with a whine, panting in the microphone, a groan loud and wanton and utterly sinful filling up the air.

He is responding to her sounds; he can't help the reaction, her moans and whimpers arousing him. He feels himself losing control and when Harrison throws him a glare he knows he must be emitting pheromones as well.

"Caitlin," Harrison barks into his microphone. "Calm down now."

And instantly there is a shift, the whimpers quieting, soft shuffling picked up by the microphone. The noises die down, but never switch off. Harrison sighs before switching off his own microphone, rubbing circles against his temple.

"What was that?" Barry whispers, shocked and afraid.

"The microphone activates if her screams reach over 120 decibels," Harrison informs slowly, carefully picking his words, "so if it is really terrible I'll know." At Barry's confused expression he adds, "I'm her alpha, she has to obey my command. It'll only last a few hours, but it should provide some relief. I can't do that continuously, but it does help."

"Let me go to her." It was out before Barry realises he was speaking, but his eyes flare in determination, jaw clenched as he turns to Harrison.

"No." It was swift, Harrison's eyes narrowing as he stares at younger alpha with his steely eyes. "That's insane."

"I'm her mate, I can calm her down."

"I don't think you fully grasp how influenced you will be if you smell her hormones. Neither of you will be in your right mind to think through _anything_." It is said through gritted teeth, and Barry realises just how much this is affecting her alpha, the strain starting to show.

"Then lock me up with her. Just - I just need to do something to help her. I can't pretend that everything is fine while she screams for me. It's _killing_  me." He starts pacing around the small room, hand running through his hair as he tries to think of a way he could help. It only goes on for a minute before he stops. "You're her alpha, but I'm her mate, maybe if I'm near her and talk to her it will be better. I mean, she'd be able to smell me, hear me, sense me. That's gotta be an improvement on-" he waves his hand around the room, "-this. _Please_ "

Harrison and Cisco share a loaded look, the moment stretching on for far too long.

But finally -

"Fine."

* * *

They take him to an adjoining room, the walls doing nothing to stop the potent smell from almost overpowering him. Cisco throws him a sympathetic look as he closes the door between him and Barry, the only other exit point other than the one that connected Barry's room to Caitlin's.

He feels his wolf rise to the surface, his mind flooded with Caitlin behind the steel door, naked and slick, chest heaving and fingers between her legs. He was stirring and quickly stripped off his pants, hand stroking himself as he thinks about her, and he feels like he's losing himself to the haze that has descended on him, full of Caitlin and her creamy skin and the way she would taste and feel.

"Barry," she screams, her voice hoarse. And he knows that she must have been calling out all day, his name on her lips as she seeks the release she so ardently desires.

"I'm here Caitlin." He is leaning against the door, desperate to be as close to her possible. He breathes in deeply, her essence flooding his nostrils, filling his lungs, seeping into his bloodstream and coursing through his body.

"Barry," she shouts, and he _knows_  what had just happened, was dizzy from the affects of it, the scent of it.

He scratches at the door immediately, fingernails shifting into claws as he tries to scratch his way to her. He can't shift completely, the herbs they fed him before he entered already coursing through his veins. He should not have been able to shift at all, and even now he can feel its effects changing him back into his human form. His nails are bloody as they completely change into fingers and he can only howl in frustration.

They are only given a half hour of respite before Caitlin feels the need stir inside her. Her scent fills the air, awakening him, her whimpers and moans and screams for him driving him insane.

"Just listen to me Caitlin," he strains, his hand moving faster, desperate and needy and so very, very close. "Luna, you don't know how much I want to be there with you. The things I would do to you." He tightens his grip, wishing that he could be with her, that he could be touching her, ravaging her, inside of her.

"Tell me." It sounds closer than before and he can envision her dragging her mattress closer to the door connecting them, laying on it spread open, her eyes closed as she listens to his voice.

"What?" It is choked out, disbelieving her words.

"Tell me what you would do to me Barry. I'm all yours," she moans, and _oh_ , he thinks, this is something they would need to explore later.

And so he does. In very explicit detail.

* * *

She awakes feeling empty inside, body still craving her mate. But there was no uncontrollable need, just a low thrum of desire underneath her skin. She notices that the doors are unlocked, but more than that she notices him leaning against the doorway, his hands in his pocket, his eyes firmly fixed on her.

When he sees that she is awake he approaches slowly; Cisco had said that the worst of it was now over but he could still smell it lingering in the air, invading his nostrils, sinking its way deep inside.

He hesitates.

"You feeling better?" He questions gruffly, Barry clearing his throat immediately after, his voice thick with a lust he thought he had controlled. Caitlin nods, the movement so small he wouldn't have noticed it at all if he wasn't already staring at her. "good," he murmurs to himself, "good."

The tension is stifling, and he would have bolted if not for Caitlin standing at that moment, her movements jerky and uncertain. He watches as she bites her bottom lip, watches as she wrings her fingers, gaze everywhere but on him. He watches as her brows furrow, focussing on herself before looking at him with a question in her gaze. She remembers vividly what happened earlier, and she knows she was not in this state of dress when she had fallen unconscious.

"Oh," he coughs out, clearing his throat before continuing. "Felicity came in when you were sleeping. She said something about the girl code and a deal you made before." He looks uncomfortable talking about it, but the scent of sex still clung to her skin, permeated the air.

"Yeah," she murmurs, "we made a deal when we were teenagers."

And silence returns.

"Do you, do you want me to leave?" he asks after a while, awkward now.

"No!" She exclaims, arms out as if to grab him and hold him. She is skittish, but then so is he. They are synchronised in their movements, both taking a step forward, drawn to the other.

"So yesterday..." he drifts off quietly, the tips of his ears red in embarrassment. She wants to giggle at his shyness, wants to blush herself for the way she was carrying on.

"Yeah?" she blinks demurely, lashes fluttering at the remembrance, a coquettish smile pulling at the corners of her cheeks. "What exactly do you want to talk about _yesterday_?" Her voice drops, an eyebrow raising in challenge, and suddenly there isn't an inch between them. Chests heave with anticipation, brushing against each other with every breath.

She captures his lips, sighing as he melts against her, his hands winding themselves around her waist, pulling her flush against him. This. This is what she had been dreaming of, feeling him against her, touching her. The thoughts of this is what had pushed her over the edge many times last night, the thought of his rough fingers touching her everywhere they hadn't before, skimming her skin, tugging and pinching.

"Did you want an encore?"she whispers throatily, her teeth nipping at his bottom lip.

"Caitlin," he growls warningly, "don't tease me."

She smiles wickedly. "Who's teasing?"

* * *

She sighs in contentment, resting her head against the stone wall behind her, his sweaty torso pressing against her deliciously as he rests his forehead against her own, his eyes closed as he tries to find the strength in him to pull away.

The feeling of his fingers tracing everywhere she had last night was incredible.

Returning the favour was just as nice.

"We should probably head back." He chuckles softly at her words before leaning on her more heavily. She purrs at the sensation of him being so much closer.

"Probably," he agrees. Neither of them move.

"Any moment now," she laughs, eyes twinkling as she takes him in, joy bubbling in her. Barry throws a crooked grin her way, stealing a kiss before pulling away, a huff of laughter leaving him as she mewls at his teasing.

"Maybe I'll just keep you here forever." And something inside twists at his words, worries that gnawed at her before returning.

"Hey Barry," she starts, eyes darting to the floor. He hums in response, prodding her to continue. But the words are caught in her throat. He notices the hesitation, her name a soft whisper on his lips as he nudges her chin up, concern shining in his gaze as he watches her. "It's nothing," she backtracks, but his expression doesn't falter. "It's just - do you prefer this arrangement? Me here with my pack and you with yours? I get it if you do -" He silences her with a kiss. It is hard and bruising and Caitlin is sure she can taste the annoyance he was feeling, spicy and red and just a little bit dangerous. It is wild and primal and he is tugging at her bottom lip hard, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth when she opens up, brutal and dominating and she feels a little lightheaded after it.

"Why would you ask me that?" He is panting, his eyes ablaze, and she feels the doubt slowly releasing its grip on her heart. "I dream about that Caitlin, I dream that one day you'll appear in front of me and that you tell me you're going to stay and -" He breaks off with a growl, unaware that his grip was tightening around her, skin sure to be marked for a few hours after. "I want you Caitlin, I will always want you. _Especially_ when I'm over there."

"Oh," she says eventually, mind scrambling to understand this information. He can see the shock, the confusion, and it vexes him.

"Okay," he growls. "Your bedroom. Now." She throws him a questioning look and he responds with another kiss, shorter than the first but just as powerful. "I'm clearly failing my job if you're doubting, I intend to remedy that." His voice is low and gravelly, shivers down her spine at the sound, a flare of heat inside. And his nostrils flare at the smell. He picks her up and doesn't ever let go of her, struggling up the stairs, with her in his arms. He finally makes it to her house, her bedroom. She is thrown onto the mattress, bouncing on it from the impact. He stalks towards her, kicking off of his shoes, stripping off his shirt before grabbing her ankles, pulling her to the edge of the bed. Dropping to his knees.

And he shows her just how much he wants her. All evening long.

* * *

 

She wakes up in his arms, a low thrum of lust swirling in her stomach as she barely opens her eyes, the heat source wrapped around her pulling her closer. She smiles dopily, watching him as he sleeps, tingles erupting as his hand brushes against the exposed skin at the small of her back.

"Go to sleep Cait," he grumbles, but even as he speaks his eyes are flickering open, emerald shining, gazing at her with a smile of his own.

"Cait," she echoes slowly, a warmth blooming in her chest, the lust giving way to something more dangerous. He notices the shift, confusion on his face. "You've never called me that before."

"Oh," he stumbles. "I can stop if yo-"

"No!" she interrupts breathlessly, the idea of him stopping so indescribably terrible to her. She blushes at his eyebrows furrow, unsure why she would mention it if she didn't hate it, wondering if she was just trying to protect his feelings. "I like it. A lot. I -" she trails off and averts her gaze. Caitlin saw his face melt into understanding and she hates it, hates that she is so awkward with him when she was so free with Ronnie, hates how that heartache is still affecting this relationship. She was so used to being cold to anyone who wasn't her select group and opening up to Barry still has it challenges.

"Cait," he whispers warmly, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he pulls her against his side, chest rumbling as he hums happily at her response. The tension leaves her as he rubs circles into the small of her back, a small sigh escaping as she feels the pull of sleep. "Good night Cait," he speaks again, a smile on his lips as she falls asleep beside him.


	3. part iii

She finds herself looking forward to the visits, her heart racing at the thought of him around again. Everyone would always be able to tell when he would be visiting based solely on her behaviour; she would pace continuously, unable to stand still, eager to be in his presence, in his arms. They would give her an indulgent smile, the older werewolves muttering about how it was when they were young and met their mate. She would force a smile, anticipation and nerves driving her to distraction until he was there, on the border of the pack land. She would meet him there any time she could, some moments only for a simple walk back to the centre, their hands interlocked, swinging as they talk about everything, other moments she would be in his arms as soon as she physically could, the pair only returning to the pack as the sun set and the world was plunged into darkness.

They test out the bond forming between them- the could feel each other's emotions, each other's pain. He could feel the thrill of excitement when he would feel their bond growing, and he knows she can feel his own. He only wishes that the mind communication would develop without a completed mating ritual. They feel out the growing powers, from strength to distance. Minute changes over hundreds of miles are noticed immediately; they are in tune with their mate just as much as they are themselves.

And they grow closer too. It is a struggle for the young alpha, his mate so open and yet so closed off, only giving a small bit of her heart to him at a time. But he is happy with whatever he has, each small heartfelt confession, every secret she tells him fills him with burst of joy, the residual effects strong and lingering, his good mood often lasting days and weeks.

They draw to each other, always craving their presence, their touch. Whenever Barry stays the night it sends chills down Caitlin's spine in excitement, his body always curling around hers, no distance between them.

And if they weren't together at night physically, they were emotionally, long phone calls trailing into early morning, soft whispers of adoration to the other, secrets they reveal when all the walls around their heart had fallen. He told her of his worries as pack leader, of his inability to find his mother's murder. Of his fears of failure - to her, to his pack. To himself. She finds tears streaming down her face as his broken whisper carries across the wire. She yearns to be with him, to wrap her arms around his waist, to pull his head against her chest and have her fingers run through his hair. She wants to comfort him, to love him.

She loves him.

But he wasn't there.

She whispers it when the call ends, a weight on her heart at the realisation. She would have thought there would be relief, but there is not. Her heart sinks into her stomach, the thought gnaws away at her, eating her up from the inside.

She had fallen in love with her mate. The man she was always destined to be with. The one she would spend the rest of her life with.

And she wasn't sure if he feels the same.

* * *

 

Caitlin knows something is wrong.

She feels empty, cut off from her mate.

It had been disturbing her for hours, this feeling of isolation. He wasn't dead -she knew that with certainty. She would feel his death, feel the agony as he slips from life and into death, the breaking of the bond between them.

Caitlin knows it hasn't snapped, the bond still taut as she pulls against it.

But she can't feel anything from the other side.

It is distracting, her fellow nurses more than once gently reminding her of the basic tasks that had slipped her mind. The third time she makes a mistake they try and coax a response from her because she most clearly is not okay.

She takes the afternoon off with a weak smile and a flimsy excuse. The walk to her house is a daze, mind flooding with questions and scenarios she couldn't explain away.

The moment she arrives she rings Barry.

Constantly, her wolf whining and growling, a wave of fear washing over her.

He never picks up once.

She works up a panic, almost sick with fear. She calls over and over, each call leaving her with his voicemail message.

Hours pass without a word. It is night and she curls herself up, chest heaving with dry sobs, confusion and worry gnawing at her, overwhelming her.

But then the phone rings.

The caller ID is his.

With shaking hands she lifts it to her face, a trembling voice leaving her mouth as she breathes out his name.

Caitlin's heart stops when she hears a feminine voice on the phone instead of the one she had grown to love and expect, a panic welling up within her, one not soothed by the calm nature of the voice talking to her.

"Hey Caitlin, it's Iris here -" her wolf bristles at the sound of Iris' voice on Barry's phone. She struggles to hide the growl. "He's told me about your phone calls every night," and she feels her wolf placated slightly with the tone of adoration in the other girl's tone. "He goes on about it endlessly, I think it's one of his favourite parts of the day -" and Caitlin could feel herself melt at the notion, her wolf whimpering for his presence, for his voice in her ear. "- So I thought I should ring you before you got panicked when he doesn't call."

"What happened?" Her voice is tight, it is agonising to even force them out but she has to know. Caitlin's heartbeat is crazy in her chest, loud and pounding at the thought of Barry in danger.

"Rogues. They attacked." And her heart stops entirely. The world pauses around her, the only thing she is aware of is the sound of her heartbeat thundering inside her.

"I can be there in fourteen hours."

"No, no, no. It's fine - _he's_  fine."

"My mate was attacked, I can't feel him through our bond, _and you're telling me he's fine_?!" The end of the sentence is barely distinguishable as words, her eyes now bright yellow, canines extending as she feels the pull to succumb to her wolf.

"Caitlin, girl - he's fine and alive. He's just a little cold and the nurse thought that he should be under surveillance for a day to make sure nothing was wrong." Iris speaks slowly and calmly, as though it would be able to transmit through the line and affect Caitlin. "Honestly, you coming here by yourself after rogues were in the area would just freak him out and we need him okay. Don't worry about anything, I'll be by his side all the time."

Somewhere deep down she knows Iris is right, that the she wolf only has Caitlin's interests - and that of her mate's - at heart. So she seethes silently, angry at the world and herself and the situation she was in. Because all she wanted to do was be with her mate, and she was denied that.

But that still doesn't stop Caitlin from crushing her mobile in her palm when the call ends.

* * *

 

She can feel him again the next morning, feel the effects of the little cold of last night. She diagnoses him with pneumonia during her breakfast.

* * *

 

He arrives three days later, complaining that someone's panic wouldn't calm down and that he wouldn't be allowed to rest until it did so. He says nothing of the bags around her eyes and she doesn't comment on his sallow complexion, on how he seems smaller, weaker. She doesn't need to; she knows why he is like that, knows that the bond is a curse and a blessing, knows that she should be thankful they hadn't completed the mating process because the effects of her emotions on him would be so much greater if they had.

And while he doesn't say anything she knows that she hasn't been helping his recovery. If anything she had been hindering it.

She feels a wave of guilt wash over her, and Barry's eyes widen in alarm. She tries to stem the feeling but he is already beside her, cradling her face, apologising for a joke that was in poor taste. And she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. So she does both. It sounds horrendous, but she was so afraid of losing him, had gone crazy at the thought- but now he was here, holding her and she couldn't imagine anywhere she would ever want to be.

It is Barry that moves first, resting his forehead on her own, his hands slipping into her own, squeezing them. He takes deep breaths and they do something to her, a peace settling over her at his actions, her body copying him without even realising. He stops when she reaches a fragile state of calm, a smile cracked toward him in thanks.

He moves slightly, just enough to have his lips brushing over her own, once, twice. She leans into it the third time, the contact still soft, but longer. They hold onto each other like there was nothing else in the world worth their time or effort, the other an anchor in a place they don't know.

He pulls away, chuckling softly to himself as she follows him up, a quick peck on her lips before moving completely. He adores seeing the effects of their moments together, loves seeing her flushed cheeks and rosy lips and the way her eyelids slowly open, eyes dark as they focus on him, teeth peeking out from her small smile.

She wants to say the words to him, can feel them on the tip of her tongue, but they don't leave. They can't. The moment is so perfect between them, this, everything, and she can't bear to have the words shake whatever had formed between them.

She takes his hand silently, tugging him inside her home and into her bed, her arms wrapping around his waist, her head resting against his chest, his heartbeat lulling her to sleep for the first time since she received the call from Iris.

And he stays awake just a little bit longer, marvelling at the way she feels against him, his fingers running through her hair as she sleeps in his arms. He had felt restless without her, his wolf needing his mate to be still, to heal. He had suffered and he was struggling each day to overcome the pain of their separation. He needs her so much, and he isn't sure how long he can survive without her by his side.

Barry looks down at her, a soft smile on her lips as she sleeps, a sigh leaving her as she shifts closer to him, her breath hot against his skin.

He would though, he thinks, his eyes closing, mind drifting off to sleep. No matter how painful it is, he would survive, would wait for her.

She was worth every minute.

(She asks about the bond a few days later, pestering him until he caved and told him about how he was able to stop his feelings and emotions from leaking through. She listens in fascination as he tells her about the pack's method of protecting loved ones in battle. They would block the bond, a final act of mercy, protecting the mate from the agony of the death, only the snap of the bond hurting them.

She leans forward and kisses him, his words echoing in her mind. He thought he was going to die. She could have lost him and would not have known until it was too late.

"Don't ever do it again," she whispers against his lips, "not ever again."

He doesn't.)

* * *

 

"Who's Ronnie?"

Caitlin closes her eyes at the words leaving his mouth; she should have expected the question again, Ronnie and Stein were coming for a meeting with Wells and the pack had been abuzz with talk about their potential return. Their names wafted in the wind and Barry was boundless to hear it, to ask her about it again.

She wants to ignore his question; it had been months since his attack but with the threat so large he had only started visiting her recently and she just wants to hold him, to bask in his presence. They are both on her couch, Barry sitting and and Caitlin stretched across it, her head on his lap, smiling as the bars of Summer Days drift off. He hadn't realised he was singing along to the song in the movie, nor did he notice he had been running his fingers through her hair and she felt amazing. She notices that she had been feeling that more and more in his company, a warmth blooming inside at at the mere thought. And it doesn't scare her like it used to.

Caitlin rolls over, facing him and not the screen, her face scrunching at the weird angle she was looking at him. She sits up beside him and she wants to ignore how he pauses the movie, wants to pretend that the discussion of her past won't mean much to them. She actually has a joke planned, something to brush it off and alleviate his fears. But the look on his expression told her she couldn't avoid the topic forever.

"Ronnie is an ex of mine," she sighs, wringing her fingers as she waits for his possessive rage. For his disappointment for not waiting for him. But she gets none of that. He is just watching her openly, and the tension seeps from her. "An ex-fiance."

"I gathered," he says dryly and she thinks that maybe the previous conversation about him was not as forgiven as she thought. "Did he meet his mate?" She somehow doesn't let her laughter escape at the notion, Ronnie's ranting voice about Stein ringing in her head.

"In a matter of speaking," he arches an eyebrow at her words, prodding her for a story. "They're paternum nexum."

"They exist?!" She laughs aloud at that, eyes and lips smiling as she watches her mate try and struggle to accept that part of lycan mythology was fact.

"Much to Ronnie's displeasure."

They drift into silence, then-

"What happened between you two then?" She expects the question but it hits her hard all the same.

"I never thought I would love someone like I loved him," _but then I met you_ "and Stein was happily married with his wife, so I thought -" her voice catches. She doesn't need to finish the sentence. He knows how it ends. "It doesn't matter." But the look on his face told her another story. He doesn't push any further and she is thankful for it; instead switching off the television entirely and scooping her up in his arms, carrying her to the bedroom. She relaxes against him, glad that he wasn't pushing her away.

Barry pushes the ajar door open with his hip, only letting go of her when he was by her side of the bed, dropping her lightly on the mattress and pressing a quick kiss to her forehead.

He seems distracted and Caitlin thinks for a quick second that he'll walk away. Her heart lurches at the thought. But he doesn't, only moving to the other side of the bed before opening up the blanket and sliding in himself and she feels guilty. She had never been fond of mates, never trusted how the bond would affect the two. But he was destroying every misconception she had. (she is also starting to think that Oliver's jealousy of Felicity's past was wholly an Oliver thing.)

She slides under the covers herself, rolling closer to the centre of the bed, closer to Barry. She lies still, releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding when his arms slips around her waist, pulling her flush against him like he had done every night he shared her bed. But there was something different about tonight, something she couldn't place, the conversation of before changing something between them.

He is drifting off to sleep, clinging to Caitlin a little tighter than he usually would. None of them mention it.

"Hey Barry," he mumbles something, and she turns in his embrace to face him. His eyes open lazily, the dark hues of green sparkling before her and she she feels her chest constrict at the sight. "If I was ever given the choice, I would choose you as my mate every time."

He doesn't respond with words, his lips press against hers, the small, soft action conveying what his words couldn't. She feels a tremour of relief through their connection and for the first time she thinks that maybe she should be more open about her feelings. But then she has no thoughts at all, his mouth latching onto her neck, sucking hard, leaving her holding onto him, his name leaving her mouth in a moan. He stops far too soon, smiling as she groans in frustration.

"Come on, sleep," he murmurs, lips still against her skin, and she knows that it would be a long time before she could do so.

"I love you Barry."

He doesn't hear the words.

He is asleep and she knows it. It's the only reason why she said them aloud.

* * *

 

There was a disturbance in the air, an excitement that permeated the atmosphere. Not even Wells seemed immune to the mood that had settled on the pack.

It was there when he arrived two days ago and it had continued, not fading with time, but growing. And it would have left him relaxed if he couldn't sense the undercurrent of agitation and nervousness in Caitlin, the woman gnawing at her bottom lip when she would forget herself.

It drives him to the point of distraction, but he can't find it in himself to question her, to question any of them. It was clearly a pack thing and, no matter how many time Felicity told him he was essentially an honourary member of the pack, he was an outsider.

He and Cisco were in the courtyard of the pack property, a small ring set out to help the werewolves practice their fighting in use by the pair.

The fight isn't evenly matched, there was no chance of it when Barry was an alpha, but Cisco demanded the practice and Barry couldn't refuse him. They are throwing punches and avoiding them, a small crowd of children gathering around them excited.

But then he feels a spike of emotions inside him, a cacophony of different feelings so loud and messy it leaves him affected and distracted and confused. He lands on his back with a grunt, Cisco towering over him happy at the thought of knocking him down.

" _For real_?" he scoffs, taking the arm Cisco offers to lift him up. "My mate is afraid." She wasn't - or at least, he didn't think she was. The jumble of emotions inside him left Barry uneasy and needing to find her.

"Not my fault you get distracted too easily," Cisco retorts, but seeing the look Barry throws him, he amends his statement. "Alright, fine. We'll go hunt her down if it makes you feel better."

And it doesn't.

Because he sees a crowd, sees the two figures surrounded by them.

He recognises the younger man, photos of his face along with Caitlin and Cisco decorating her house.

 _Ronnie_.

He watches silently from the sidelines as the man approaches his mate, wraps his arms around his mate, _kisses the cheek of his mate and linger_.

"Woah, down boy." He turns his growl towards Cisco who shrugs, "Caitlin will never do anything to hurt you. You know that."

And he does. Already she is pulling away, her neck craning as she looks left and right, eyes scanning the area. And he knows it is for him. He plucks the bond tying them together, sending her calming emotions to help soothe the worry he had sparked from his anger of before.

Barry wants to run away, to steal her away and lock her in her house with him until she forgets everything but his name and the feel of his mouth on her body and the way he could make her moan and scream. He wants to hide her until it all blows over, until Ronnie goes back to being a man from her past who left and never returned, who was just an ex and didn't have the potential of something more.

Instead he trails behind Cisco, eyes on the ground as he approaches the pair.

"Ronnie, my man." Cisco's voice is loud and filled with such joy, Barry looks up to see his friend greet the new arrival.

The other wolf's head jerks up, eyes dancing in happiness, an easy smile spreading across his lips as he sees his old friend. Barry stands awkwardly to the side as they embrace, his eyes flickering everywhere but on the stranger. He meets Caitlin's gaze, a small smile directed his way as he stands there, just stands there like a lost pup.

They pull away eventually and Barry is there offering his hand to Ronnie. "Hi, I'm Barry, from the Central Pack." Ronnie takes his arm quickly, an easy smile on his face as he welcomes Barry as though he were the visitor to the pack.

"Ahh," Ronnie sighs, slinging his arms around Caitlin and Cisco. "It is wonderful to be back with the two most important people in my life." He looks at both of them so adoringly that Barry almost feels sick. It takes all his strength to stop the emotions from travelling down the bond between him and Caitlin; he doesn't want her knowing his feelings, not when they are so turbulent.

"Well," he shuffles, no longer a confident alpha but a confused man. "I'm sure you all have a lot to catch up on, so I'll leave you guys. Nice meeting you Ronnie." He barely breathes before turning on his heel and sprinting off to the safety of Caitlin's home, not wasting time before stripping off his pants and shirt.

And for the first time since their fateful meeting long ago, Barry shifts in another pack's territory.

And he _runs_.

* * *

 

He avoids her for a few hours, unable to look at her without seeing her arms around the ex, too afraid of what he may see in her eyes when he meets them. His wolf is mad, growling inside him, desperate to be with his mate, to mark her as his own, to let the whole world know that she was his. His Caitlin.

The exertion wasn't enough to control that primal part of him, and so he runs some more. Runs until he can barely stand.

And then, he returns to her home, his tail between his legs, exhausted in more ways than one.

* * *

 

She finds him hiding from her in her backyard, the alpha in human form sitting on her porch, face turned to the star lit sky.

"Hey." It is a soft whisper, Caitlin joining him on the step, shoulders brushing against his own for the briefest of moments. He doesn't respond, doesn't flinch at her presence. He just keeps watching the sky. She shivers at the chilly night air nipping at her skin, hands rubbing her exposed arms, willing the goosebumps to disappear. But she doesn't move an inch. But then again, neither does he. He seems distracted by his thoughts and it saddens her, saddens her that she can't read what he is feeling, can't understand what emotions are thrumming across their connections. It saddens her that he feels he can't tell her what is on his mind. Caitlin curls in on herself, her back no longer straight, her head no longer facing upwards but now staring at the dirt on her shoes.

The silence is agonising.

"Did you have a good time with Ronnie and Cisco?" His voice is strained and she doesn't understand why, can't comprehend what has elicited such a response from him.

"Yeah, it was nice to catch up," she timidly replies, so unsure of what is happening between them. He snorts in reply, his face dropping down and looking away from her. She feels the stab of pain vividly, confused and hurt. She wants to reach out to him, to take his hand and hold her - she moves to do so - but she hesitates and stops. He seems so cold and aloof, so much like her at the beginning of the relationship, she feels as though the ground had been ripped from under her feet. She was falling into a world of unknown and she only wanted him to cling too.

"That's nice," he responds after some time, still not meeting her worried gaze, "Well, I'm perfectly fine here so if you want to go to Ronnie be my guest. I'm sure there's more you want to catch up on." The bitterness hangs off his words, his hurt and betrayal dripping from every syllable. His implications are clear and she finds the root of his emotions striking her so fiercely she feels the air stolen from her lungs.

"Barry." She laughs his name and his head jerks up, meeting her gaze, _finally_  meeting her gaze. He doesn't understand the smile in her eyes, the cute crinkles in the corner. "Are you jealous?" She says it like it is a ridiculous statement, like she didn't have years of history with the other wolf.

"Yes." He sees the smile on her face shift, humour leaking from her expression, concern taking its place. Caitlin takes his hand and tugs him up and back inside, pushing him on the couch. Eyes determined she slides herself between his legs, sitting down on his thigh, curling her body in his. She presses her lips against the corner of his jaw, patiently waiting until it unclenched before kissing her way up to his ear.

"Look at me Barry." He does and she feels her chest tighten at the vulnerability she sees in his gaze.

"Do you remember what I said before, the last time we talked about Ronnie?" She hurries through before he can interrupt, recollection of the moment clear in his eyes. "I will always chose you, always."

"But you loved him."

She doesn't respond to that comment, the confession of love, an ' _I love you'_  on her lips. But it wasn't the right time, not for her or him.

"Do you know that when Iris rang me on your phone one night I almost turned." She says it so casually, but her body is stiff against him, tense with the memories she tried to keep repressed. "I was so jealous that she was by your side, using your phone to call me. You guys are so close and sometimes I think it would have been easier for you if you just loved her instead." She drifts off quietly, doubts plaguing her, even as she is wrapped in his embrace.

"That's ridiculous," he scoffs, nuzzling her without conscious thought, "she loves Eddie and I-" He stops suddenly and Caitlin knows that he can hear her heart hammering away erratically inside her chest. "And I'm with you."

She deflates at his words. She expected them, braced herself for them, but they hurt all the same. There was no physical manifestation of the pain, no heartbeat change or scent, just a breaking heart. It was crazy, she tells herself, to expect that he would confess his love for her. Her. His mate who had ran away the first time she met him, who was cold and jaded, who refused to leave her pack and join him like the rules dictated. How could he possibly love her? But she pulls herself together, taking his face in her hands, her nose brushing against his as she meets his gaze, eyes so green and bright and captivating she finds herself drowning in them before she knew she was at risk.

"Well, ditto," she murmurs softly, lashes scraping across his cheekbones and she blinks slowly, soaking in the intimacy of their moment.

He leans in slowly and she meets him halfway. It is slow and languid and everything they both need. she feels him holding her hips, adjusting their position so that she was straddling his waist, his hands slipping under her shirt, branding her skin with his touch.

She feels tears prick at the corner of her eyes, her hands clinging to him, not willing to let go. It is Caitlin who deepens the kiss, her tongue tracing the seam of his lips, tasting him when he opens up to her. And she can't imagine anything else in her future, can't imagine anyone by her side, treasuring her the way Barry did. His fingers graze her sides, trembling as they drag themselves up her back, tracing under the clasp of her bra. She inhales sharply through her nose; they had never done anything so intimate after the sexual haze that enveloped them after the her suppressors failed. He almost pulls his hands away, but she grips the crook of his elbows, her thumbs exerting pressure on his forearm, guiding his hands. Her own slip up his arm, binding themselves around his wrist as he follows her lead, his hands moving from her back to the front of her chest, palming her over the thin material of the bra.

She moans against his mouth as he massages her, his touch light and probing, exploring what would make her arch against his hands and what would make her tighten her grip around him. She squirms in his lap as he squeezes and pinches, lightly grinding herself against him, seeking relief to the fire he had lit inside her, the flames licking at her, the feeling both delicious and painful.

A shuddering breath leaves her as they pull away, his hands pulling out from under her shirt and laying on their lap.

"You're my Caitlin," he whispers, not as an order or statement, but a question. he's questioning her love for him and she's not sure if she should feel like her heart is being torn from her chest and crushed, but she does and it hurts like something horrid.

She nods shakily, cursing the tear that falls from the side of her eye. Caitlin closes her eyes, heart skipping a beat when she feels the touch of his lips on her face, kissing the tear away. She opens her eyes, sight blurry but focussing quickly on his face.

And for the first time that night she sees him smile.

"Your Caitlin," she confirms, bumping her nose against his, her grin lighting up the room. She grabs Barry's hand, lifting it to the left side of her chest, her heart hammering away underneath his touch. "Yours." He stays silent for a beat, his mouth open just a fraction, wonder and awe swimming in his emerald pools. He takes her hand, placing it over his heart, eyes never leaving her own, a fire burning inside them.

"Your Barry," he echoes, and she feels something inside her slide into place, the confirmation making her feel lighter than before.

He lifts her up, her legs wrapping themselves around his waist, and he carries her to her room. He places her lightly on the bed, hovering over her, soaking in the moment. And it is perfect; her underneath him, hair fanned across her pillow, smiling at him, hands lifting up to cup his face, tugging him down so that she can kiss him. All of it is so perfect he could burst.

He nips at her skin and she traces 'i love you' on him with her tongue and they fall asleep in each other's arms, smiling and happy.

* * *

 

"Charlie would hate you," she tells him one day, her laughter tinkling through the air. They were alone in the forest nearby; another picnic in a the pack land, some lost and forgotten corner of the woodland. It was magical, Barry leading her blindfolded, pride erupting from him at her gasp. It was a beautiful place, a small brook glittering in the sunlight that makes it through the trees' branches, a small cave she wants to explore. It was so beautiful and for the one moment in time, it was all theirs. They had eaten the food and played in the water, laughing until their chests were heaving, smiles so wide their faces ached. But they regretted none of it, enjoying their time with each other. They had played hide and seek until they could barely stand, Barry slinking his arms around her waist, spinning her around as she inhales in surprise, laughing as he nuzzles his face into her neck.

They played until they were exhausted, collapsing on the picnic blanket, smiling as they stare upward, the beauty of their surroundings, the trickle of sunlight through the leaves of the tree above, magical. Their fingers brush against each other's, unable to stop touching, a sharp thrill shooting inside at the contact. It progresses slowly, pinkies hooking up as they watch the chatter about the most trivial of things. Barry leans up after a while, turning to his side, a smile on his face as he looks down at her and takes in the sight.

Barry drags his fingers up and down the length of her arm, smiling as he feels the goosebumps left in their wake, her face glowing as she looks up at him, a wicked grin on her face. He knows what she is thinking, already moving to kiss her as she leans toward him, capturing his lips with her own. He cradles her face, swallowing her sigh as he deepens the kiss, thirsty for more of her. They can't keep their hands to themselves, touching each other, needy for more. She tugs at his shirt, hands delving in under it, nails running across his chest, grinning at the low rumble inside his chest.

He rolls over on top of her, needing better access, needing more of her. His hands skim her sides, collecting her shirt as he moves them up, each inch of skin revealed something he wants to kiss, to touch, to memorise. She purrs in satisfaction as he touches her, hips bucking into him as she seeks more, more, _m o r e_. Her nails are sharp on his back and they have him swearing against her lips, his hips coming down, grinding on her. He feels so close to losing control, knows that she feels the same.

And so he pulls away, hovering over her as he catches his breath, the air filled with the sound of their harsh pants as they try to calm down, the sexual haze that had descended upon them slowly fading, Caitlin fixing her shirt, cheeks red.

It is then she speaks with a teasing tone and a scrunched up nose.

Her words take him by surprise.

"Charlie?" he responds, eyes smiling as he looks down at her.

"Oh," she shakes her head at herself. "My brother Charlie - his name is Charlie Tyler, but everyone else just call him Tyler." She tilts her head, staring at him with mild curiosity. "You know, the pack leader at Mystic Falls?" At his shocked expression she laughs. "Did I never tell you I came from Mystic Falls?"

He shakes his head, mute.

"Yeah," she starts, eyes closing as she basks in the magnificence of the moment. "I met Cisco and Felicity at university; they became my best friends and when they offered to bring me into the Star Pack, I couldn't help but say yes."

"How did your brother cope with that?" he inquires softly, afraid to push things too far.

"He was angry, but he understood." She shakes off the bad mood of her memories, of her mother - the painful one's of her father. "He knew I couldn't stay there, couldn't survive there. He still hated it though. And you mister," her eyes open and he is met with the most dazzling smile. "He'll most definitely hate you."

He relaxes, laughing along with a giddy Caitlin.

He loves life, loves everything about it. He loves that she is sprawled on the ground beneath him, her hair wild and messy, lipstick smudged. He is shirtless himself, marks on his back a testament to how much he could get the former stoic lady to go crazy around him and he loves it.

"Oh you mean he'll hate the man that thoroughly debauched his little sister." He hovers over her, leaning his face down, nipping at her skin, smiling as her giggling shifts into quiet 'ohs' and sharp inhales.

"Yes," she strains, fighting for some control.

"The very same man who made her scream out his name without putting a finger on her," he lets out a dark chuckle, "or in her. The one who knows her -" he sucks hard on her neck, a mewl leaving Caitlin at his action, " - every -" he tugs her earlobe with his teeth, growling as her hands grip his belt, unbuckling it with ease "-weakness?" And he hisses as her hand succeeds, loosening his pants and sliding a hand inside. "Damn Cait," and he instinctively thrusts against her hand, his own sliding her skirt up, stopping just short of slipping inside her undergarments, choosing instead to rub her over it.

A strangled moan leaves her and he loves that, loves how responsive and verbal she is with him. She doesn't hide from him any more, and her openness drives him insane, always wanting, needing, more. Her own movements stutter as she thrusts into his hand, desperate for more pressure, for release. "Barry," she pleads over and over, whimpering as he continues to tease. "I need you, I always need you. Nothing else satisfies me like you."

"Luna Caitlin," he groans, his fingers making light work of her shirt, his desire to see just how far her flush went more than satisfied. "I can't wait to have you, all of you. I can't wait until you're in my bed, to feel you all around me, to sink my teeth into you." He puts his weight on one arm, the other stopping the torture and pulls her hand from his pants, Barry missing the feel of her around him immediately.

He leans down on her, his weight on hers lighting a fire inside, slow thrusts against her core causing her to scream. She moves up to kiss him, but he avoids her mouth, finding all her weak points, licking and sucking until she was a mess underneath him.

"Barry," she starts, her eyes closed as he lavishes kisses across whatever skin he could reach.

"Mmm," he murmurs against her skin, relishing in the way her hands lift themselves up, raking through his hair. She tugs softly, and he raises his head, taking in her dark eyes and flushed cheeks, his breath stolen in a glance.

"Kiss me."

And so he does.

* * *

 

He leaves eventually, he always does, a promise of a quick return on his lips before they are pressed against her forehead. They are both left a little emptier each time is happens. And it continues for many, many moons, Barry making the trek over to her pack to spend time with her, ruining her more and more before leaving a few days later to return to his duties as alpha-in-training.

It was having an effect; he seems more tired, the journey long and far, and whenever he did stay over, both of them curled on her bed, arms wrapped around each other, she notices he is sleeping less and less. (She realises later it is the alpha in him, unable to be comfortable in another's land).

She realises with a start that he had always come to her, every time without fail. She appreciates it, loves him for it, a word of complaint never on his tongue, a smile always on his face when he sees her. But he was struggling through it, because of her, _for_  her.

Well, she decides, determination settling in, not any more.

(Goodbyes are painful she thinks, wiping away her tears. But the separation from her mate, from the man she loves, is more so.)

* * *

 

She appears in a forest, lost and confused, the scent she was following fading.

He finds her alone, a few metres from his borders.

It was usually a lonesome walk around their perimetre, a quick check that there was no threats to his pack before he goes to rest. But this night, a full moon fast approaching, he finds himself in the presence of a beautiful woman, his beautiful woman. And suddenly he feels the world spinning, the wolf inside him howling for joy, urging him to run to her, to take her in his arms and mark her, make her his forever.

Because she had come to him.

She came.

All he sees is her, and suddenly he is in front of her in human form, hands clasping her bicep, his breath short.

"Caitlin," and she is refusing to look up, her cheeks red with embarrassment, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her canines gnawing at the plump flesh. And his restraint snaps, his hand rising, spanning the side of her neck, a soft tug all that was needed to have her coming forward, her lips meeting his own, moving against them, the sounds of her whimpers filling the air as her hands paw at his chest, searching for something to cling to, met only with skin. He growls low in his throat as her nails scrape his bare chest, his wolf urging him to lay her on the floor, to strip every single item of clothing off of her with his teeth, to eat her out until she is a whimpering mess underneath his ministrations. And to mark her.

"Barry," it is a whisper but he hears it, they both know he hears it. "My Barry-" He growls against her lips at the words, the words he had first told her when they had met. He was hers, her Barry, and he had the same claim.

"You came to me." The wondrous awe in his tone sends shivers down her spine; she knows that in time guilt will creep in, but she is so blissfully happy in his arms she can't feel anything but joy. "Is something wrong with your pack?" His face falls slightly, concern written across his expression. His friendship with Cisco had turned into a brotherhood, Wells a role model he cherished.

She shakes her head, eyes glassy as she watches him through unshed tears. This man, this beautiful, kind hearted man was her mate. And she loved him something fierce. He opens his mouth to talk, but doesn't - choosing to wait for her to speak in her own time.

"I-" she breaks off again, her head slowly eased up by his fingers underneath her chin, lifting it so she would meet his gaze. "I love you." She smiles at him, a broken, hopeless smile that has him raving at the sight of it. But more than that he notes that she said the words, she finally said those words.

He moves swiftly, catching her mouth with his own, brutal in the onslaught, unrelenting in passion.

"I love you too," it is a harsh whisper against her lips, "I love you so much Caitlin, so damn much it's been driving me crazy." She shines, actually shines at the words, her heart almost bursting at his words. She smiles wide, and he feels that if he were to die then it would have been enough to know that she loves him and that he could be responsible for a thing of beauty such as the smile on her face.

He peppers butterfly kisses across her face, lips skimming her nose and cheeks, her forehead and lips and anything he could reach. She giggles, a warmth filling her that had nothing to do with the lust and everything to do with how happy he made her.

"Are you coming here? To stay? Permanently?" And he doesn't know if he could cope with the thought of her leaving after everything they had endured together.

"If you'll have me alpha." It was breathless, her voice drenched with lust and happiness, eyes sparkling like stars in the inky black sky above, beautiful and burning.

He had been called alpha by numerous people in a variety of circumstances, but she was the first person to arouse him with those few words.

"Damn it Cait," he crushes her body against his own, stealing a kiss and her breath. "If I had my way you'll never leave me again."

"If that's what you wish," she says thickly.

And he can't respond, not when the angel in his arms is whispering those words to him, her eyes shining in the moonlight.

"You're mine now, my Caitlin." He says it fiercely, as though there would be another to come and steal her away, his hold on her tight enough to bruise. But she doesn't feel it, she doesn't care.

"And you're mine, my alpha." She brushes her finger against the corner of his neck, the thought of her mark laying there for all to see, for the physical manifestation of their love to be borne on him sent shivers down her spine in delight. "My Barry, mate-" and he growls at her words, a shudder racking her body as lust swirls deep in her stomach, "-my mate." His body is just so hot, her fingers slide down his torso, burning as they make contact with his skin, a yearning she couldn't hope to control washing over her, saturating her until every cell in her body cried out for him, "my love. Mine."

He stops her with a bruising kiss, teeth and tongue and everything he could possibly put into it. And she returned it in kind, her nails lightly raking up his back, muscles rippling underneath her fingertips as he shivers in lust. His mouth plunders what he can have, desperate for everything she was willing to give him. And he knows it isn't just the wolf inside him seeking his mate, knows that somewhere between meeting her and kissing her he had fallen in love with every small thing that made her her. He nips at her lips and tongue, swallowing the moan that leaves her in response.

They pull away with harsh pants, Caitlin leaning on Barry for support, her knees weak and unable to hold her up.

He has no complaints, the feeling of every inch of her against him enough to drive him mad.

He lowers her to the ground, wishing that instead of grass it would be the feeling of his bedsheets underneath her.

(Their bedsheets he realises with no small measure of glee. Everything that was his is now hers, he is now hers. Their bedsheets.)

He rests on his haunches between her legs, taking only a moment before leaning over her body, capturing her lips, plundering her mouth in a brutal kiss.

"I love you Caitlin," his eyes are yellow and she knows hers are the same, they are more wolf than human, more instinctual and primal but she can feel her heart skip a beat at the sound of the words on his tongue, a warmth spreading its tendrils inside her, reaching out until it filled her. And she knows that it wasn't just the wolf part of her that wants him desperately. "My Caitlin," he continues, nipping at the side of her neck, the wanton moan leaving her at the feeling of his teeth where their mark would be utterly sinful. "My mate," he kisses lower, a claw tearing a hole down the centre of her clothing, her body arching as the cold winter air brushes against the scorching skin. He trails down, following the line, across the centre of her stomach, relishing in the way she squirmed underneath him, hips bucking, eager for more pressure, more of him. "My love."

He stops and looks up at the goddess before him, the moonlight shining down upon her, her cheeks rosy and lips swollen, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on her forehead. She is resting on her elbows, her chest heaving as she watches him, eyes dark as he stays in his spot. He would spend forever gazing upon her if he could, would spend lifetimes loving her, touching her, being deeply inside her as she thrashes around, begging for relief, his mark on display.

He imagines her in a few years, stomach round with his unborn pups, a dazzling smile brighter than a thousand suns on her face as she works in the hospital, treating his family - _their_  family.

He pictures them at every stage of their lives, from her treating his wounds as he engages in a war with a rogue, to him tearing the world in half when she is kidnapped from him.

He can see their entire future in that small moment, and it is perfect. And it's theirs.

" _Mine_."


End file.
